Husband inadvertently blames me when there is no money

[Ordinaryme]

Just looking people’s views on this. I’m a full time mum to 3 kids, work part time & also receive some benefits. My job is term time so I am off over the school holidays which suits well as I therefore dont need childcare. My husband likes this set up as he likes me being there for the kids rather than sending them to childcare. My pay & benefits go into my bank account, most of the household bills come out of my account, mortgage, TV, phone, insurances etc.

He is self employed & works long hours, he is the main breadwinner. However, I do all the household chores, cooking, shopping, cleaning etc! He’s has a good relationship with the kids, is a good dad, regulary takes the kids with him which is a help to me.

Problem is, he has a business account which he has given me a card for & which I use when money runs out in my own account for food shopping, getting kids clothes etc. He doesnt t seem to mind! However when he checks his online account & balance not good he starts a whole thing, where is all this money going! This just doesn’t add up etc! Unfortunately his business has a lot of outgoings, very high overheads so this is where most of the money he earns goes but he won’t admit this & acts like the money has just disappeared & as I’m the only other person with access to the account he is obviously blaming me!

how should I deal with this?

How is he the main breadwinner and shy is he not contributing to the mortgage? Also unsure what benefits you can claim in such situations unless there is a disability?

I'm sorry - you pay for household stuff through a business account? That's not great, surely it messes up his accounting and also wouldn't it cost the business every time you use it?

Businesses shouldn't be there to prop up your shopping.

He's not the main breadwinner if you pay most on the household bills.
We have our own business and the money earned by it goes into our business account. Our wages then get transferred from this to our joint account and then the bills get paid from there.
It is hard when you are self employ and go from month to month not quite knowing how business will be, I do understand that. I think you both need to sit down and go through what co es out of where, and just who earns that money, so you can both see where the money is going. It sounds like he isn't too aware of how much it costs to run the home.