Help! Pic for opinion's please

[chuckyegg85]

My bf is a cross dresser from time to time but always wears women's underwear I have no problem with it whatever it's his thing..... but I've been finding some things that I can't explain... this is the latest.... these are his undies and I think they have fake tan stains on them.... he doesn't wear fake tan but in my opinion this is where the stains would be if a woman wore them after tanning. I know he has cheated in the past and yes I probably am stupid to take him back, but it's the explanation he gave for it that has me baffled 🤨 a few nights ago out kitten knocked over my can of coke and he says it ran magically across carpet 3 and a half feet under the door across the landing and into a pile of laundry where said underwear was waiting to be taken down and it's coke staining 🧐 am I crazy to think no it's not it's fucking fake tan?!

Honestly he's lucky to find one woman who will have sex with him in women's underwear, it would seem remarkable if he's found a second one.

Is it possible he's buying used underwear rather than new?

He’s buying used underwear to wear. The majority of male cross dressers do.

But then why would he lie I wonder?

Is it his size??

I think ...and I say this kindly

When you've come to a point in your relationship when you're having to post photos of your boyfriend's soiled panties online for opinions on whether he's cheating again or not

...Then you've come to the end of your relationship & it's time to find your dignity and leave

This cannot be the relationship you imagined for yourself

Righto. The kitten and the coke can line seems to be the most believable aspect of this tale.

I think any woman would be upset to know their partner is giving money to other women to basically enjoy having their ‘scent’ in their underwear…

Some would see that as a form of cheating on its own, it is still engaging with other women in a sexual way and is often a very personal transaction, even if it is a total stranger.

It's not second hand as I bought it so know it was pure brand new white the day before x

You know you are right I can't say anymore than that 🤷🏻‍♀️

For a bit of context, I am 39 so not a young woman and this is a five year relationship that I got into WAY to soon after a traumatic relationship, I am a recovering heroin addict and only found out about the cross dressing after we had been together 3 years and in finding out that I also discovered a lot of cheating that accompanied it
Please remember I know that I am an idiot to have stayed and I don't need reminding but I was in a very vulnerable state and I love this man very very much and im broken about it all

I don't understand sorry?

Also I think it looks more like they've been worn by someone else more than him cheating while wearing them

Difficult to advise other than you need to seek professional help because you seem resolute to continue making some very self-damaging decisions in your life, about your choice of relationship, lack of boundaries and your lack of personal care.

Sounds like you are suffering from very low self-esteem and I don't think anyone on here is in a position to give you the right support you need.

Brilliant!
Get some standards op.

I agree with certain aspects of your comment and I will say if I do suffer from low self esteem I don't feel like it! But I'm open to realising that I may have that problem. You seem keen to dismiss me off as a damaged woman who needs psychiatric intervention and none else can offer advice or support as it's futile.... I'm not quite there yet

If you only bought them new the day before you found them in this condition then when is he supposed to have had the opportunity to cheat and give them to someone else to wear?

I didn't say I'd bought them the day before I said I'd bought them so I know they aren't second hand and they were white and seemingly unworn the day before as they were in the drawer

It seems that you've worked hard to turn your life around. Don't waste it on a man you don't trust.

Op in the kindest way please stop and think. You're 39 and almost into 4 decades of your life and this is what it has come to. You're posting underwear pictures of a cheating partner and trying to find out if he's cheating again. Is this really the life you are proud of and want to lead? Dump him and seek therapy for yourself. You were able to overcome your addiction so you can do this too.

Whaaat?

Why?

Because the women’s ‘scent’ makes them feel more feminine to have on 🤷🏼‍♀️

Well regardless, when is he supposed to have had time to get someone else to wear them in that short time? Had he been out in the intervening time where he would have had chance to meet up with someone and exchange undies?

How on earth do they fit him?

He has cheated, is possibly cheating again, you know what you’re seeing and it isn’t an accident caused by kitten and a can of coke.If someone had told you 10 years ago that you’d be on the internet asking strangers whether your boyfriend’s panties had fake tan on them, what would you say? If you were your own best friend what would you tell yourself?