Think he’s confused

[Family7]

I’m 43f my partner is 50m we been on and off for about a year he doesn’t want a relationship in the beginning but I Feel there may have been a change

He said from the start he doesn’t want a relationship not just with me but any body but then afew months ago he said he doesn’t want a relationship with no one but wants it to be just me and him and on one else now within the the last few weeks to wants to see and talk to me via phone txt n face time or in person spend more time with me n tells me he loves and misses me asked to stay over the other night wants to go out for food gives me kisses and cuddles when I leave put s kisses on the end of messages do things and go places together and seems about more intrested in my life more than he was before he’s been introducing me to his work mates when he face times me at work and has introduced me to 1 of his neighbours but when I have questioned him about all this and the change and all he says that he’s just been right but it feel that there’s more too it l than that I don’t know what to think as he won’t talk to me about all he just says he been right he is someone that doesn’t like to talk about his thoughts or feelings and doesn’t like to show weaknesss and doesn’t like been vulnerable I just don’t know what to think or make of it

Id put him on the spot and ask him if he now wants a relationship.

But i genuienly think you need to decide what you want and lay your cards on the table! Because its important you have the type of connection you want.

He sounds manipulative

He doesn't like this he doesn't like that
Wants it to be just you two but not
Doesn't want to appear vulnerable
Blah blah blah

I would take a step back

If you want an honest, equal, fun, happy relationship he is not it.

Hold out for someone who values you from the start.

He sounds juvenile and hard work OP.
He's far too old for such bullshit.
Drop the rope and find a proper functioning adult.
You deserve better.

What does he just been right mean? Agree with PPs above. Sounds like communication isn’t off to a great start. Unless he has just decided he does want one now he’s got to know you more.

I think he’s stringing you along. He wants you to be monogamous but leave the door open so he doesn’t have to be.

If it’s a relationship you want, I would dump him.

Run.

Spend less time with him and more time on learning some grammar and punctuation. Jeez.

Punctuation is your friend. I can hardly make any sense of what's been written.

Exactly what I was thinking!

I think if he truly cared for you, he would not want you to be feeling this confused!!! Especially not just so that he can say he was right, and doesn't want to be vulnerable.
All this uncertainty is making YOU more vulnerable because you can't judge how much to invest emotionally. And he is ok with that - he's happy that he remains in control of how this connection plays out, step by step. He can draw you in closer when he feels like it, then push you away whenever he likes because it was never a 'relationship' anyway.
And you are already falling into that hole, your entire post is about him and his feelings, nothing about whether you want a relationship with him.
I'm sorry but I am with the previous posters - if he can't dohisown emotional labour, communicate effectively, and accept vulnerability, he's a terrible prospect for a relationship AND way to complicated for a fling.

I’m not usually a commenter on these types of threads, but I would also invest some time on learning about full stops. They are very useful.

Here is one I have spare. .

Massively sick of this type of dude.

Good manners are your friend. Learn some.

@Family7 it sounds like your BF is getting what he wants from this relationship already and he is reluctant to make any changes. This is not about him. What do you want/need from your relationships. If this is causing you pain then perhaps better to look for something new? It sounds like you have already invested a lot of your time (12 months+) on this man. Do you want to be doing the same thing in 3/4 years? It sounds like he has been honest with you about what he wants

You could learn some good manners yourself, maybe it would help you to stop being a snotty cow. __

From what I can work out from your opening message, he sounds like a total waste of space and you sound really immature. This ‘relationship’ has no future, end it now and find someone that respects you and wants a proper partner.

I should get a refund if I were you.

He’s a manipulative man child. Only wasting your time.
he’s laying the groundwork for keeping you where he wants you, always available to him but also free to pick and choose you when it suits him. The confusion is intended.

It’s virtually impossible to read or understood what your post is saying with the complete lack of any punctuation, and life is too short to sit around trying to figure it out.

@blacksax Ever heard the saying, two wrongs don’t make a right? You’re not exactly demonstrating any good manners yourself.

I appreciate the change and the effort you're making, but I'm struggling to understand what it means for us. Can we have an honest conversation about where we’re heading?

I was sticking up for the OP, as the poster had been unnecessarily rude to them, so I deliberately chose much the same wording they had, to see how they liked it.

Ah, a self-appointed moderator who is both petty and a bully then. Right. Got it. I sincerely hope you don’t teach your own children this type of behaviour.

And you are...?