I grew up in a very religious, conservative family, as a child I accepted what I was taught. However, when I was in my late teens I was forced to make big life decision , which was at odds with church teachings.
As a result of that decision I was judged and criticised harshly by the family including my parents, and soon after I left home and the church , for several years afterwards life was very difficult.
All this took place over 20 years ago and during this time many of the older, most judgemental, family members have passed away. With time my parents have accepted my decisions and we have rebuilt relationships slowly and I now visit once a month.
Last week my mum called to say my eldest cousin had passed away after a long illness, and she asked if I want to come to the funeral? The last time I saw my cousin in person was nearly 8 years ago shortly before his own father’s funeral, which I did not attend.
At the time he repeated many of the judgements and criticisms of the past, which I found very hurtful, this reopened many emotional wounds. I realise now that he was deep in grief and may not truly have meant everything he said.
The last contact I had was 4 years ago on a family video call during Covid when I learned of his illness.
Despite everything I remember him as warm and funny and he was brilliant at playing practical jokes. Part of me feels I should attend to pay my last respects to him.
I am in a good place with my life, now and better able to stand any criticism . We are never going to be warm, close family, but if I go to the funeral then I think there is a chance of reconciling with some younger family members who are less critical and more tolerant than their parents and grandparents. Wwyd?