Are these normal things for parents to do?

[Allelbowsandtoes]

Hi all

Sorry if this isn't the right place to post this.

I've been thinking a lot of late about my relationship with my mum and why I feel such anger towards her. I've been thinking about my childhood and while i know she was always a laid back parent I am starting to think that some of the things she did were not normal, for example -

When I was 10 and my brother 12, she moved us down to Cornwall (5 hours drive from our dad) to be with her partner. He moved straight in. The first summer we were there she was very distracted by him and I remember she'd let me and DB go to the local beach alone - a 15 min walk each way, partly along a road without pavement.

She used to have sex with her partner really loudly - my bedroom was near hers and hers didn't have a door - when she became aware that I could hear them she didn't make any effort to stop. I still vividly remember how utterly grossed out I was listening to it but she framed it as natural and nothing to be worried about.

She openly used recreational drugs and when I was 17/18 I remember she'd occasionally give me and my mates MDMA....I'd already started using stuff at that point so it's not as though she started me off but it was very much normalised at home which i can see now is not a good thing.

When I was 16 she allowed my 18 year old boyfriend move in with us while he was homeless and stay in my room with me. Bit borderline, this one, but I felt sort of trapped by the relationship and wish she'd protected me a bit more.

Sorry if this post is long.....I myself don't have kids and don't know anyone with kids of that age so I'm wondering if her parenting is normal?

Nor normal at all (the sex, drugs and live in boyfriend. I'm a child of the 80s and this was not something me or my friends or family experienced.

Not normal at all regardless of when you were born - utter bollocks that post.

No adult should have sex so that children can hear. How foul of your mother.

And to move in a boyfriend straight away like that. Silly cow prioritised the man over her dcs.

Giving dcs and their friends drugs. Ffs.

Op, she wasn't a very good parent. In fact, she was a shit parent and if you have dcs, I wouldn't leave them alone with her. She might get distracted by a man.

Not normal for me aside from being able to go places on my own at 10 years of age (born late 70s)
Not super far away from DHs childhood of the same age, in terms of recreational drug taking and being fine with him doing the same.
It sounds like she was trying to be cool and give you loads of freedom but in the process not listening to what you wanted from her and prioritizing her own fun.
Maybe something to work through with a therapist. My twopennorth is that it won't do you any good to hold on to anger about it.