Just that really. Has anyone ever managed to come back from a feeling in their marriage during the young children phase (we have two children under 5) where they just don’t feel like being affectionate, and where when their DH is affectionate they almost freeze up and wish they wouldn’t be? I find this mainly happens in bed, like when he tries to cuddle up to me before going to sleep or when we wake up I just feel so uncomfortable and like I can’t bring myself to respond and cuddle properly back. I think part of this is because I’m worried that if I do respond he will get turned on and make a move to start some intimacy, which I also absolutely don’t want. I’m ok with sitting leaning on him or with my legs resting on him watching tv or something like that, but I also really don’t want him to kiss me as I feel that he quickly tries to progress it to more passionate kissing, sometimes with tongues (even in front of the kids), and that he gets very turned on by this.
I’ve had low libido for the majority of our relationship/marriage and in all of the other relationships I’ve been in, but I have been more affectionate with him in the past and if you asked me I would say I am an affectionate person, just without much of a sex drive. I know he would like a lot more sex but he doesn’t complain as such, just has said in the past that he’s concerned I’m not attracted to him. I’ve tried to reassure him that I just have low libido in general but I’m not sure he believes me.
I’m wondering if anyone else has felt like this and whether they ever recovered the desire to be affectionate? I am not sure I will ever have much interest in sex tbh, and I know that’s unfair enough on him as it is, but if I can’t be affectionate either I just don’t see how it can work.
Any help would he appreciated!