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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

How would you feel??

8 replies

ciencien · 16/07/2024 22:02

First post so please be gentle

I want to work out if I am being unreasonable in feeling hurt.

Been with my BF (not sure tonight I can call him my OH !!

Been together over a year, don't live together but spend a lot of time at each other's homes.

Today I have a hospital appointment to discuss the results of my tests and surgery which will mean I'm off work for 2-3 months due to recovery.

So the issue is ... said BF, texts throughout the day, I say let's discuss it later .... gets to post 21:00 he hasn't asked ... his excuse I've been to the gym and talking to a friend I can talk now.

I am now upset as been waiting for 7 hours to talk about it ( however I will admit I played it down saying I went shopping)

So am I right to feel he doesn't care ??

OP posts:
Doggymummar · 16/07/2024 22:04

He didn't come to the hospital with you? I wouldn't like that.

Original poster
ciencien · 16/07/2024 22:13

In his defence to that I changed the appointment 2 days before so he couldn't come ... he was due to come with me.

Not making excuses for him... he could have sent a text or called for 5 mins prior to the gym

OP posts:
AquaFurball · 16/07/2024 22:20

Did you tell him when later was? He was texting you throughout the day (he wasnt ignoring you) and you told him you'd discuss later, unless you specifically said after work/7pm I don't think he's unreasonable to talk at 9pm.
Unless someone gives me a time, later can be whenever I'm free unless they contact and let me know they are now free to talk. I've also waited for bf to be free when he's said later and got caught up with someone, didn't hold it against him because it wasn't a set time.

FloydPink · 16/07/2024 22:21

Not sure this helps but I would drop everything if I was him.

Original poster
ciencien · 16/07/2024 22:31

AquaFurball · 16/07/2024 22:20

Did you tell him when later was? He was texting you throughout the day (he wasnt ignoring you) and you told him you'd discuss later, unless you specifically said after work/7pm I don't think he's unreasonable to talk at 9pm.
Unless someone gives me a time, later can be whenever I'm free unless they contact and let me know they are now free to talk. I've also waited for bf to be free when he's said later and got caught up with someone, didn't hold it against him because it wasn't a set time.

He was texting me throughout the day about other things and how his day was

OP posts:
Original poster
ciencien · 16/07/2024 22:33

FloydPink · 16/07/2024 22:21

Not sure this helps but I would drop everything if I was him.

I think that's the issue I would have too. And it's major surgery... not like I was asking what colour to paint my nails

OP posts:
thaisweetchill · 16/07/2024 22:37

If you've said you'd discuss it later I'd be waiting for you to bring it up so if you haven't that is on you.

Hope you're okay though.

Original poster
ciencien · 30/07/2024 22:23

Just to update
Had planned further scans today and BF couldn't attend as he was flying back from a holiday and totally forgot until he noticed the padding on the injection site on my arm tonight...

OP posts:
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