I'm quite unhappy in my relationship but I know it's not that bad really.
When I met my now DH, I had a massive crush on him. We started dating (initiated by me), and it was average from the start. He didn't really like to go out, and often had tantrums, ignored me for days or was grumpy for no reason. We never had a honeymoon stage or talked that much. He is ten years older than me. Despite this, I stayed in the relationship because I still had a big crush for some reason, and also because I was turning 30 and felt like I had no time left to meet someone else. We broke up a few times and to my eternal shame I begged him to come back each time.
He has a low sex drive, but initially we did have sex although not as much as I would have liked. I would prefer 3 times a month, he'd prefer once every 1-2 months. However when we had it, it was good. Physical and verbal affection was rare. I asked him to try giving me some compliments occasionally but he said he "doesn't like to lie".
Fast forward to ten years later. We have two children and a house. He shows no physical affection and sex is rare, at this point we haven't had it since January. We don't spend any time together, for days out I usually take the children out by myself. In the evenings we watch TV separately. We also both work evenings and weekends sometimes so often only one or the other is there anyway. I sleep in a different bedroom.
However he is a good dad and a good domestic partner. His grumpy moods and tantrums are in the past, and we never really argue. He does a lot of work on the house and does half the house chores without being asked. I do more childcare, but he takes care of children if needed. He doesn't mind if I go out - for the evening, for the day, for the weekend. Even on holiday - he's fine with me traveling by myself or with a friend, and I've done this a few times.
I've brought it up a few times. I've said I'd like to be in a relationship with some affection, talking and sex. He wasn't upset with me saying that but he says I should just appreciate that he does a lot of house work and that most men are worse. He said we should just seperate if I don't like it. He was not upset saying this. He said he didn't mind either way.
We both work and earn similar, me being the higher earner by about 25%. I paid the deposit on the house. We could afford to split although obviously it would be more difficult.
Part of me thinks there is no relationship here, we should split. I'm very resentful of being 39 and looking at a future without even a hug, kiss or compliment, or even a conversation from my partner.
The other part thinks it's easier parenting together, our kids are happy. We don't argue. I most likely wouldn't meet someone else anyway. Any advice?