We have 2 DC's. Last night was a pretty horrendous night. As far as Im aware when we actually went to bed things were okay. Been going through alot lately, long drawn out pregnancy loss (probably blown my name change now) but it has gone on since end of Jan.
DH lost it last night, he got up with youngest DC, gave him milk, got back into bed and kept trying to make conversation with me, I was half asleep, I admit I snapped. Spent quite alot of time in hospital lately I am exhausted emotionally and physically. He lost it. I was quite scared, he threw the covers back and said all he wanted was a cuddle. (which i did give him) he was frightened throught he whole preg loss he was gonna lose me and i guess it all finally hit him at 3am this morning. I tried to be sympathetic but as he threw the covers back he hit me. Pretty sure he didnt mean to, keeps saying sorry about it.
We went downstairs, he kept saying, all he wanted was a hug. It was the way he went about it. Tried to intiate sex, did stop when i told him to (still bleeding pretty badly from mc)
we was up for a few hours arguing, talking, crying, he is mentally ill, his paranoia, depression and anxiety is wearing me down, he told me I was a heartless witch maybe I was last night, I told him he was turning into his mother and he needed to get help before it got the to stage where he would trust no one like her.
Thing is ive tried the nice approach, he keeps promising me he will go to the doctors and see if meds are the way to go but it hasnt happened. I am about to walk out on it all. My eldest DC was woken up by his outbirst and sat in his room, he must have been scared, i know when i sat in my room when i was DC's age listening to my parents argue it was the most horrible feeling. I dont want that for my kids. I dont want to leave DH but i really cant see no other way.
I am at the moment deciding whether to pack a bag for me and DC's and heading off to my mums till monday but I am worried to leave him alone. I tried to call emergency doctors last night and he wouldnt let me. He does seem fine this morning but then I havnt spoken to him, hes downstairs with the DC's
In lots of ways hes the perfect partner, its just every 3 weeks or so he has an "episode" and im really not strong enough to deal with it right now, its getting to the point where i know exactly what hes gonna say next each time we go through this.
He says he'll never forget that I never hugged him (i did whilst still in bed but once downstairs I was angry at him for putting us through this without getting help)
I dont know what else I can do, his mum and dad have screwed him up so much he thinks th eminute he walks into the doctors they will lock him up