I'm very lost . Been with my partner 7 years . Engaged over a year . Over our 7 years I have caught him lying on many occasions ! One was about having instagram - so he could look at women 😠 . I caught him texting women when blackout drunk about how great they are etc. These women were all ex's or flings that never lasted. Recently he has been getting so blackout drunk that when he gets home , I literally can't be around him . The last time this happened he texted " hi " to another women , which I found. His response was it was to hurt me.
He has also started to get aggressive drunk which he never used to be.
He is also in the process of being assessed for having what we think is borderline personality disorder. When we are good , we are fucking amazing!!!!! But then all the lies - especially with seeking attention from women is too much . I don't know what to do as I've left him before but this time I think it's much harder now we are engaged. Don't worry I have no plan to marry him anytime soon which he knows !
Typing this I know exactly what I must do , I NEED to LEAVE him .... but I can't 😩
If it is a mental illness that he has , it would explain so much as he idolises me , has a strong fear of abandonment, literally hates himself on the daily & has weird tics . All of which has come out during our time together.
Basically had anyone been with someone who has BPD ? I don't know if I'm strong enough to forgive him ( again ) & help him through this .
Or am I strong enough to leave him.