I hate ghosting but I don't want a conversation.
I had a very bad interaction with a client yesterday that was very upsetting. With this on my mind I went to meet my ex partner with whom I'd agreed to remain friendly for a one-hour drink that had been planned weeks ago. It began with me picking him up and him trying to tell me how to drive. Then went to a pub, got some drinks and he wanted to see my holiday photos. That was fine. He then told me a "joke":
Two Siberian tigers are walking through the Bull Ring and one turns to the other and says "Hey Fred it's a bit empty on here isn't it?"
I had to ask him three times to repeat it as I didn't get it. I still didn't get it. He then sneered and ripped apart my (allegedly non-existent) sense of humour explaining that everyone had run away as they were scared of the tigers. I was trying to tie myself in knots before that understanding the connection with tigers and Birmingham. (Later I told three friends the 'joke' and none of them got it, when I messaged him to say that, he said it was either down to them a) having no sense of humour b) my delivery being lacking or c) they are a bit thick) !!!!
There was a bit of chatting and looking at pictures and then he said something about politics or something the Tories had mucked up, to be honest I can't remember what, and I just said that well, Keir Starmer will sort things out now. He then turned on me, accusing me of sneering and taking the piss, called me a Tory Girl, and dragged up the fact I had voted Conservative when I was 18 years old. (Not that it is any of his business but I didn't vote Conservative). He said my body language and tone of voice were mocking. He couldn't see that and just made it up. I did tell him that he was not a very nice person and he had either changed, or had masked it well in the early days and he then went on saying at least he wasn't like my ex (which is totally irrelevant). He dragged things up that I had done decades ago. Said I am hard work, difficult and so on.
In the end I turned on him and unfortunately have given him ammo as I called him some awful names (gaslighter, misogynist, abuser and w*er!) and he said I was batshit and nuts and he wasn't listening to my rants. And that I was clearly taking my professional problems out on him and need to go home and calm down. I don't want to see him again, but neither do I want a showdown and having to tell him that, because it gives him an opportunity to call me crazy etc. I just want to disappear from his life. I plan to 👻 him.