Help me get through the next few hours please

[Ladybughoping]

I posted on an old thread but I think it’s been buried so I’ve started this out of desperation.

Husband has just left after I asked him too and I’m broken. I’m in house with my son (he’s on his computer so largely unaware) but I need to hold it together.

i want to call him and beg him to come back already. I just feel sick. Please help me get through the next few hours and put one foot in front of the other. There’s no one I can call anymore, I don’t have any one in real life x

You’ve been really brave and made the right decision for you and the kids. It’s hard right now but you can do this ❤️

Don't reply. He may well love you but words like this are meaningless unless backed up by actions.

It sounds like space is exactly what you need right now. Do you meditate? If you can, take ten minutes out to lie on your bed and do a guided meditation/some deep breathing to help you get to a place of calm.

Have you a sibling/friend that you could chat to on the phone?

I can understand how you feel totally overwhelmed right now but you made this decision for a reason. Maybe you will be able to work this out with counselling and some time apart but for now, you need to concentrate on some self care.

You've got this. Sending you hugs xx

This part about him being apologetic at first but not being able to sustain it is exactly the case here. He said this morning I was stopppng us moving forward, and I just wanted to scream.

im sorry so many of us have been through this, I just need to get through the hours and days till this hurts less. I feel guilty for hurting him by sending him away. I recognise that’s bat shit, but I’m still feeling it x

I've just seen your most recent post @Ladybughoping. Jesus Christ. You have been through so much and it sounds like you have been suffering from consistent ill-treatment from the very onset of your relationship.

You absolutely need this time to reflect, practice some self care and may I also suggest a solicitor so that you can at least make sure that you and the children don't find yourselves in further financial difficulty.

I know today has been a massive step for you but everyone has a limit as to what they'll tolerate and you have, understandably, reached yours.

You have done the right thing. My h had an affair. I stayed. Nine years. Then asked him to leave for space to think over something else. He was gone in 45 minutes and before he'd got to his mothers decided we weren't having a trial separation but were done. Fine by me but less than impressed he didn't tell me this and I found out a week later when I asked what he'd told his mother. A year down the line I'm nearly divorced.

We as women are strong, I thought I'd never manage without him, on my own, but turns out I'm incredibly capable and so will you be.

you are brave in a way that so many people wish they could be or had been.

you deserve the blue skies that WILL be there for you in the other side of this. You’ll be free of the anxiety that history will repeat it self. Free from fear of his anger.

it’s going to be hard. But less hard than living your whole life under the shadow.

He behaved disgustingly and is now blaming you for not 'moving forward'. In other words, you can't just forget it ever happened and that annoys him.

The only thing he regrets is that he got caught. From his point of view, you spoiled his fun and he is now making it out to be your fault. That way he thinks he can dodge the blame for ruining everything.

OP, you are my hero. Well done for having the strength to make the hard (but right) decision.

It's going to feel shit at times but you have done the hardest bit.

You can do this .
He has treated you so badly and you are worth so much more.
Affairs are so hard to recover from, even more so when they get angry at you not getting over it within their time frame (speaks from bitter experience).
It hurts now. It’ll hurt more when you tell the kids. But it will get better, I promise.

Well done, what a huge day. Every day you inch forward and things will slowly get easier. As the evening goes on pour yourself half a glass of wine and pop a box set on the TV and let yourself feel what you feel. Then an early night and wake up to a Brand New Day tomorrow x

You don't love him. You are just used to him.
(You don't love the things he does, you don't love how he makes you feel, you don't love the insecurity he brings, you don't love that he's isolated you, you don't love that he's a cheating, lying bastard, you don't love that he's blown your savings....therefore you cannot possibly love the real, unvarnished him)

Probably quite a few of us fucking hate him on your behalf, @Ladybughoping
You have an immense support network here.
And there are friends you haven't met yet outside of your door. And one day you will meet them.

I know it’s a term overly used and sometimes incorrectly but OP please look at narcissistic husbands and educate yourself. You really need to do this to get stronger.

Sending hugs OP. It sounds like you have been really isolated by him. Today is the beginning of your new life. Do not let yourself believe any of this is your fault.

How are you today @Ladybughoping ? Hope you had at least a decent night's sleep and are feeling a bit better today.

Sorry you’re having a hard time OP. I know it’s easier said than done but he doesn’t sound like he’s worthy of you at all. X

How are you doing OP?