Feeling suicidal after break up

[Bubbles423]

Hello all, I haven’t been on here for years, not since my children were small. Not sure where else to turn right now, nothing is helping and I don’t know what to do. My ex ended our relationship recently as he ‘didn’t want to be responsible for anyone else’s feelings’. However, I have just found out he is already in a new relationship. I have never felt pain like this and feel like I need it to just stop and end.

I've been thinking of posting the very same since yesterday afternoon.

Handhold. It's fucking brutal.

Whoa! Life turns on a sixpence and I promise you that better days are coming. Lots of us have been where you are and we’ve all come through it. Believe me, just keep putting one foot in front of the other, block him on all Social Media and keep busy. It’s all very raw for you right now. Your future’s been ripped away so it’s natural to be struggling.

Im not one for Homeopathy but I found a good quality Aconite helpful for panic and anxiety. Taken regularly it calmed me and helped me sleep. I got it from Amazon.

NO man is worth feeling suicidal for. Please seek help (Samaritans) if you are really struggling but one thing I know, next year this time your worries will be entirely different and he will be history!
Chin up. Come back to us if you need to share and talk again. ❤️. Big virtual hug.

I'm in a similar place since the end of my relationship which was my fault. People keep telling me not to say my fault but it really was.

Happy to support each other x

@Bubbles423 this is the only situation that no matter what anyone says , it doesn’t feel better . But it will get better as the time passes but I know right now you feel like you just want the ground to swollow you up , sorry OP about this shit situation , I hope you can get though it ! This must be so fucking tough specially because he’s already in a new relationship which means he kind of cheated on you to know this person already . 😭he left you ages ago mentally but now he’s out of the relationship with you physically .

Really sorry you feel both feel so down about it. You are way more than half a relationship. You are whole people with whole lives to live and experiences to have and opinions to hold and fun to experience.

Be really kind to yourselves right now. Really kind. Listen to very gentle soft (not heartbroken) music and watch gently distracting trashy TV that isn't about relationships (Repair Shop, Bake Off, cosy crime etc) Eat some delicious food, especially stuff he didn't like.

Focus on making lists of stuff you always wanted to do which aren't dependent on another person or are easier alone - a course or training, a physical challenge, a change in job, reading some classic books, exploring some wellbeing stuff like journalling, meditating, therapy, yoga etc. Start doing some of this.

Focus on things you always wanted to do with family or friends and haven't yet got around to - a weekend or lunch with your mum or an old school friend, a holiday or day out with your DC.

It's normal to be heartbroken but please don't think life is not worth living just because someone has split with you. All the other aspects of life still exist. They are valuable and you are valuable and they can help support you through the pain: Friends, Family, Fitness, Learning, Career, Home Improvement, Nature, Hobbies, Skill development, Community life, Faith or belief systems (religious or political or eco). There's so much out there for you right now and in the future.

I'm so sorry to hear this. It's an awful place to be in, and a horrid feeling. If you work, does your employer have an EAP (employee assistance program) such as Telus Health that you can call? If not, the Samaritans are definitely worth a call just to talk things over.

Do you have a friend or family member that can come and be with you? Company may be a good idea if you feel as if you may take your own life.

You could also call 111 or 999 depending on how you feel. If the thoughts are overwhelming, call 999 - it IS an emergency (trained suicide first aider here - this is something we were told to recommend in our training). 111 has the option to select mental health crisis - choose that and see if they have any local help to give you.

Things can only get better from here, and no man is worth losing your life over.

He did a shitty thing moving on so quickly, I would look at it like this why would you want to be with someone who wants to be with someone else. You deserve to be with someone who really loves you, doesn't care for any other girls and treats you like a queen.

Sit with your feelings but not for too long, he doesn't deserve it.

Don't let his actions dictate your worth there's someone out there who would love a girl like you. Please don't do anything silly. Surround yourself with good friends and get outside. You got this honestly. I've had my heart broken like we all have and it's not the end I promise you. Be kind to yourself x

Strongly stimulating your senses can help ground your emotions and bring you back from the edge.

I've found ice works best. Get something out of the freezer and hold it tight. Focus on the cold. It sounds nuts but it really works.

Or squirt some lemon juice onto you tongue.

My DH cheated after 26 years of marriage. To be honest my first reaction, after crying, screaming and shouting at him (which didn't move him at all) was to end it all but here I am now 8 years later typing this. The initial shock and pain will go away I can 100% promise you. It is far from the end and you will soon see that he has actually done you a favour.

I am also going through heartbreak and about to through a separation. I haven’t felt sorrow like it, but I keep telling myself I am my own individual person and I deserve a good life. So do you, you don’t deserve to feel like this, no one does. Take note of the positives, this is time for a new chapter for you. Xx

I felt like this a month ago when I was still trying to 'be friends' with an ex. We stopped talking and I unfollowed on Instagram etc, and I was able to heal so much faster. Life feels a lot brighter now.

First of all talk. Someone on here, Samaritans, councillors, friends. I found strangers or distant friends were often my preference to close friends.

i felt so low about my divorce. Not so much about my wife as such, but the thought of failure, money, house, kids… my life had ended and I was scared.

what I did was to plan stuff. 1 night away in Germany for example. Stuff with kids. Got out dating pretty quick as I like being in a relationship and I know I have a lot to give.

the next 9 months or so were the best of my life with new gf as she was amazing. Sadly that has ended and now I am having to deal with the emotions of losing someone I loved more than anyone else. Am feeling low and fragile too but have picked up a new hobby and trying to keep busy.

sadly I am an emotional fool so get upset with memories, photos, places. Something i have done is to confront places. So a pub we may have gone to a lot, I will go on my own to get it out my system so to speak.

feel free to pm if feeling low and want to chat. Been there myself and having someone online to vent really helped me.

Thank you so much everyone for your replies. I am getting through hour by hour at the moment it feels like. I don’t know when it will get better, but I got through another day

Here for you OP. I feel the same. You're not alone.

@PashaMinaMio

Life turns on a sixpence

Agreed, well said.

Breakups are brutal. It's hard to even imagine you'll get through it. Minute by minute, hour by hour, and then you'll realise you're getting better at coping. Only time and being kind to yourself will do.

Do not let him send you to that dark place. You're going to come through this and will be better off without that person who doesnt want to be with you

My ex left me, Usual case of I thought we were happy but he had met someone much younger at work, Just forgot to tell me that part.. We had been together for 23 years so it felt like I lost part of myself overnight.

That was six years ago.

It honestly took me three years to get over it/him.

I still remember crying myself to sleep, Hoping with everything I had that he would come back, even if to just hold me or give me a hug, I felt like I was going to die and at that time I wanted to.

Then one random day I just stopped thinking about him, I couldn't change anything, He wasn't coming back.

Now? I live in my own place, I have the cat I always wanted, I can do as I please, I have the entire bed to myself, It felt empty and lonely back then but now.. I now feel happier single and I don't want another relationship, I'm happy.

I know it feels like your world has ended, I know that crushing feeling, I also know you will be ok, just not now, But you will. And one day you will look back and wonder why you went through so much pain for someone that could so easily walk away from you. I wish you the best and hope you feel better soon.

By the way.. The woman he left me for left him a week later because he was too old for her, He's still single!

Mate. I've been there. Three times. The third was so awful I have resigned from dating ever again as it was so traumatic. I'm over it now but it took a very long time and I still have occasional, random nightmares. Weird.

Forget eating ice cream, keeping busy and crying to love songs etc. The ONLY thing that will heal you is lots and lots of time. You just need to be patient. No man on earth is worth suicide. If he's moved on so quickly he's obviously shallow and therefore of low value.

One day you will be over this. Be patient x

You're in huge shock and pain.

Get a simple self care plan together for yourself:
eat well, sleep well, avoid alcohol and anything stressful for a few weeks at least.

This is the very worst part - it will feel better slowly as the days and weeks pass. Hang in there

I am going through the same. Ex moved in with his new gf last week, four weeks after we separated . Publically flauting the relationship via social media, talking about marriage/babies (I am not on social media but keep being told by well-meaning friends). I feel your pain. It is horrendous. You want nothing more than to not be bothered by it, but can think of nothing else? You feel tormented, broken, heartbroken, lost. One hour at a time. We will maintain our dignity. We did not deserve to be treated like this. We will get through this (convincing myself as much as you here 😉).

Thank you everyone, just had a two hour cry. Said everything out loud through sobbing that I want to say to him. Also I ever did was love him.

@CraftyGreyFawn this is awful, i’m
so sorry you are going through this

Crying is very cathartic, I'm sure it releases some sort of relaxant hormones as I feel calmer after a cry (complex bereavement related).
You just have to go with the flow at this early stage and try to keep your eye on the prize = feeling a little better as time goes by.

Let it all out, but make sure you also pick yourself up, wash your face, drink water and look after yourself.

You might not remember his name in 5 years. It's really hard now, but trust me you will find someone more deserving of your love. And when you settle he will soon become a distant memory. In the meantime allow yourself to grieve, but try to think about it for just an hour as day if you can. Give yourself a break from the grief by being kind to yourself.

@Bubbles423 How are you feeling this morning? Did you manage to get any sleep?