Family and their awful opinions - I need support

[CarolineBryony]

My husband’s family are a farming family. They all work and live together in separate houses on the farm. I moved her 5 years ago and I’m a Mum with a full time job.

The problem is my husband’s family are very opinionated and think they are right about everything. They push their opinions onto people without any concern for how the other person feels. It’s like they get some sort of joy out of it and it makes them happy to belittle people and tell people what to do. I think it’s because they are farmers working for them selves, they think they are more powerful while the rest of the world are bad.

Anyway, they have had opinions about my family for years. They are very rude to them and make no effort towards them. I usually ignore it but today after my parents left for a weekend visit they made some horrible comments about them while I was literally stud in front of them. My husband never used to get involved but today he did and It’s really upset me. I walked away in floods of tears but they have no self awareness to even realise I was upset. I feel bad for my mum because she’s such a kind person and never says anything bad to anyone. She’s still nice to them even though they are rude to her.
I find it hard to say anything to them because they are such a strong headed family I wouldn’t get my message across so I choose to ignore it. Its them v me kind of situation and I will never win.

I’m very happy and have a lovely life but we live rural so it’s nice that my parents visit because I get lonely. Now I’m getting anxious about their next visit and the bad treatment they will get. Its really upset me today and I’m finding it hard to move past it.

What do I do? I try to focus on myself and not get involved. Most of the time everything is lovely but things seem to brew up when my parents visit and the comments starts.

'you have a dh problem'. You need to speak to him and he needs to have your back!

I'd not have anything to do with them following this and I'd be seriously questioning if I wanted to remain married to someone who thinks it's acceptable to act like this .

It’s not worth it. They sound deeply unpleasant. I wouldn’t want my DC round this type as their main family influences. How hurtful OP, I’d consider your options and be firm with partner.

Very very true!!!! This is why I try to ignore it and just focus on myself. It's hard though when they go for people you love.

They make comments about people who drink alcohol being bad people while I'm there drinking a glass of wine or they will judge people for eating badly while she bakes a cake full of sugar.

Leave.
It's the only way. I grew up on a farm and I am now nc with my parents and living happily in a small town.
Farmers are a unique breed, they don't tend to mix well with 'towns people' and most of them are the absolute definition of unsociable.
They tend to believe their opinions are correct because they rarely mix with anyone that has a different opinion, it's a lifestyle lived in an echo chamber!

I know plenty of farmers and they don't behave like this.

Your husband and his family just sound like nasty people.

You need to discuss with him why he thinks it is acceptable to be nasty about your parents in front of you , or allow his family to do it either.

How can you possibly be happy living with people live this? You want your child to grow up and be like this?

My husband has never got involved with the comments before and gets annoyed by the way they are too. He's my best friend and supports me in everything I do. Today was the first time he's get involved so leaving because of this is not the answer. I will be having words for sure.

It's his family I'm struggling with.