Argument with DM

[Priyaaaaaa]

Had argument with dm this morning when she rang me three times in a row and I panicked, answered thinking it was an emergency and turned out she just wanted a chat.

we get on well but there is some history there as she doesn’t really ask questions / show a massive interest in my life so I have to shoehorn this into conversation. Confusingly I do know she cares but she doesn’t always show it.

how unreasonable was I and can anyone help me handle this next time?

3 times?? Did you answer each time! That is excessive. Yanbu.

No I just answered on the last one but grumpily asking if there was an emergency. She turned it back on me saying I always asked her to phone more and here she was, I never pick up etc etc. to which I just replied I didn’t really want to talk atm

You need to strengthen your current all too low boundaries with your mother. Screen your calls and use caller id if she is using your landline. Same with the mobile, do not answer it immediately. Turn it off after you’ve spoken to her.

You are not at her beck and call the whole time and if this is being done repeatedly by her this could be seen as harassment. To my mind your mother sounds both selfish and self absorbed if she is showing no real interest in your life but I would think you’re supposed to be v v interested in what she witters on about . You would not put up with this from a friend and your mother is no different.

She’s not above using the DARVO technique on you either which is deny, attack, reverse victim and offender.

You should be happy that your DM wants to talk with you! She only rang 3 times cos you didn't pick up on the first or second time.