Unreasonable behaviour?

[S67]

Hi
Just looking for some opinions on if this is reasonable or not

Background...4 year relationship, I have a now 13 year old daughter from previous relationship.

A few months ago I asked him if I could go to a concert with some friends, giving him flight times of going 9am Saturday back 6pm Sunday.

At this point, in Feb when booking the flight tickets we didn't know if my daughter would be with her dad that weekend or not a july weekend, as it was her dads turn to choose the summer dates.

It turned out she was with me

Bf thinks I am.unresonable for booking a late flight back, as he will now be looking after my daughter.

I am pretty upset that he can't do me this favour I have said I will look for a solution and have ended up.booking a new morning flight back which is 5 hour difference in my orginal flight as well.as organising playdate for al.day Saturday for my daughter so he won't have to think what to do with her.

Was I unreasonable to expect him.to have my daughter for the weekend?

I don't really see it as permission just courtesy really

Yes we have lived together 3 years

Hi its excellent he gets on really well with her and vice versa she is also really easy no major teenager issues at all

Thanks for the replies it seems a real mixed bag og opinions, anyway I appreciate your answers.

They do get on really well and he picks her up and drops her off for me at times and calls us a team

This however made me feel we are not though really . I do alot for him in supporting him.at his work events

I couldn't swop the weekend with the father that was not an option

YANBU, he is.

you moved him in your 10 year old daughter’s home after just 1 year of dating.

Yes we moved into his place.

What is your acceptable time frame ?

You’re asking the wrong person

i will never blend families. My children’s home is their home and not to be shared with another man and his kids if he has them

and to move in with a boyfriend of a poxy year with my 10 year old daughter ? no no no

and now complaining that you can’t leave your young teen daughter for the weekend with him (oh and throw in fact he is explicitly NOT keen to do so) is just 😮

how old is he?

Everyone's different, and some kids are much more independent than others.

But as I already made plain, a teenager of 13 doesn't need looking after anywhere as closely as you would need to look after a much younger child, therefore it wouldn't exactly have been an onerous task for the OP's DP.

how do we know? presumably he thinks that having his girlfriend’s teen daughter for the weekend would be onerous

and if someone feels like that, not a chance i’d be pushing my daughter on them. I don’t want her to be with someone alone for the weekend who doesn’t want to be with her

has she started her periods yet?

55

have they ever spent a night together alone? let alone an entire weekend?

Yes they have to.bith

so he’s helped you out in the past with childcare overnight?

Maybe if you encouraged your daughter to be more independent she wouldn't need constant looking after, and you wouldn't be scolding mothers who've done a better job of parenting.

OP, I don't think what you've asked is unreasonable, and frankly in your shoes I'd be taking a very dim view of him pressuring you to come home early.

“constant looking after”

you think not being happy leaving a 13 year old girl for the weekend with her mum”s boyfriend of 4 years who doesn’t actually want to be with her as “constant looking after”?

how sad