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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

2 young kids - do I leave my partner?

3 replies

Vebar2020 · 14/07/2024 06:45

Im completely at a loss with what yo do, and what would be more beneficial for the kids :(.

We've been through a lot in the last 3 years - we have 2 children (2 and 3.5yrs). Our eldest has a lot of health conditions and behavioural/sleep issues, weve moved property and lived with family for 10 months (tough going). Things have been stressful.

He's a great dad most of the time, but is miserable, never wants to do anything or go anywhere, always grumpy, never wants to do anything with the kids or me or my family. He penilses me for when i try to do things for myself, or go out to see friends, even though all he wants to do is sit in and watch tv.

I feel like we lead separate lives. He's depressed, I've tried to support and help but he won't accept it, its been going on for over 5 years and im tired of trying to help. He wont see friends, seek help, or do things for himself. Weve spoken about it (finally), but again, nothing changes. I feel like we're at a turning point.

We're due to get married next year and I feel like the pressure is on to decide. I don't want to stay with him and be miserable forever, but I also don't want to uproot our kids and give them a broken family :/. Financially I know it will work out, but I'm more worried on the damage it will do to our children :(.

Has anyone had experience of this, and how did it work out - whether you stayed or left? X

OP posts:
BileBeansSara · 14/07/2024 06:48

You leave. A lot of the problems will go away if he is out of your life.

Get out and set up a happy home full of love. Do not let him across the threshold - ever.

He may even help himself if you do this but currently he has it all his own way.

Loubelle70 · 14/07/2024 06:52

Yes...i left. He was miserable, never wanted to do anything with me. The kids will be fine..theyll be sad he doesn't do anything with them too...he might if you leave.

Staringatthewalljustmeagain · 14/07/2024 07:07

He penalises you? As in punishes you? In what way?

Either way, do not marry this man.

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