My mum is poorly and I am not coping

[Newtothis2019]

My beautiful mother has not been well. She was rushed into hospital several weeks ago with sepsis, organ and heart failure. She was in intensive care for 2 weeks and miraculously she caoome through the most dreadful ordeal. It's the second time she has had sepsis and she is literally a walking miracle. She is home now but she is very weak and I am worried sick about her as I am not sure that at rhe age or 84 she is going to get through this. She is my best friend and I love her to bits. I'm not coping and I don't know what to do. I have wonderful friends and family but I don't want to tell them of my fears as it makes It more real, if that makes sense.

Oh bless you.

I lost my mum several years ago and the fear I felt about losing her prior to her death was immense and I felt like I was crumbling. I adored her and loved spending time with her - it was never a chore.

Have you researched ‘anticipatory grief’? It is really worth looking into. Also cherishing the time you do have with her and taking lots of photos with her and placing special value on this time. Try and start talking to at least one person about your overwhelming feelings. Try and pick someone who can cope with uncomfortable feelings- you don’t need false reassurance from someone well meaning who tells you everything will be ok.

I miss my mum and so wish she was by my side. But I’m ok because I am a stronger person as a result of being her daughter.

If you can, tell her what she means to you in whatever way you can. Unburden yourself to friends and family. Research and learn more about what to expect and what can help. Be easy on yourself. Look after yourself - exercise, mindfulness, don’t overlook factors such as menopause which can make things harder.

Your mum is a wonderful mum and it sounds like you are a wonderful daughter. What a gift to have experienced that.

You take care xx

I’m so sorry. I have no advice apart from to repeat the previous reply but I wanted to send some hugs.xx