So not sure were to post this but if someone sees and can help with some advice good.
So we lost out nan this week at the age of 89 after a 1 month battle of illness on my mums side: and it’s particularly hurts me hard as I helped care for her as she had dementia. But what my concern is is my mum as she lost her husband my dad 2yrs ago and there’s is me and my brother as her support again at this time. All her siblings have partners still.
However when my dad died my brother wasn’t there for support/help for her at all it was all about him and I get we grieve in different ways but he continues to do nothing to help and support her just contacts her when he has a problem and it it makes me
angry. Just for context I’m a single parent who’s 41. My brother 38 married with children. My brother is quite an odd person, always has a problem or is down on people, talks badly about people, not many friends. Never seems happy. Always falling out with his wife etc which is kinda sad but my mum
Just it’s who he is. He doesn’t even reali speak to me when I’m about.
which is sad since our dad died and we’ve both got kids. We never see them unless it’s at my mums and it’s act not how I want things to be but it’s been like that with him for ages and for no reason I remember.
my concern now is my mum
Now needs support again. She’s lost her mum now and has no one at home and as much as her brother n sister are all in it together I still fell like she needs more as of what they are like with there lives and partners.so I was there today with my daughter first weekend without her mum and all the family have returned home. Was ok. Bit sad but ok and my brother shows up. He’s in a moodmood not talking so we try and engage in convo just gen chat. Talk about the kids, nan and hols etc anyway and he starts shouting at the kids n the dog not unusual mum talks to him oh don’t worry kids r ok and he then starts shouting at my child so I say please don’t do that I don’t speak to your that way, not aggressive, not threatening just she’s not doing anything just leave her be and his reaction we have shouting, screaming, insults, Critasism both me n my child, I’m sitting there in disbelief to what he’s saying things like your child isn’t yours lol. Ur a mess etc. gonsmacked. To which I’m like what are you talking about? Saying does mum need this? Be quiet. He carries on saying reali odd things. My mums crying now and saying I don’t need this and I was like why are you doing this? And I felt I had to leave coz was being horrid. I had to leave as a few home truths were about to come out and I didn’t want to upset my mum anymore. But I’d did say look I’m leaving but I need to get ur priorities straight cos they havnt been at all. And left by the time i got home I was in tears and so worried about my mum. Am I being unreasonable? Where do we go from here ? What can I do to help my mum more? Is this fair on her ? Is he mentally ill? Or
does he just not care ? I don’t no what to do anymore ? Please help. Any advice at all ????