Hi all
I'm feeling really unhappy and have been for some time. My relationship of 13 years is at breaking point and I don't think it can be salvaged. We have two children aged 6 and 1 and own a house together. For several months now we are basically just living as room mates. We barely talk and if we do it ends up in arguments as we just can't seem to agree on anything, I just find myself constantly feeling irritated and fed up around his presence. There's no intimacy (when thers is I initiate, but I have since given up trying) we don't even kiss or cuddle anymore and barely do things together as a couple.
I know when you have children things change, but I feel our problems started long before our youngest was born. We spend most of our time in seperate rooms of the house and barely talk unless it's to do with the children. I have tried on so many occasions to convey my unhappiness and that this can't carry on, however he just shrugs and says 'all relationship are like this when people have children'. He is either completely in denial about the state of our relationship or he just doesn't care. I have mentioned mediation but he says that's stupid as we don't need it. He just really doesn't care at all.
We own a house and I have asked him to move out but he refuses. I haven't sought legal advice yet but I believe as we both own it, I can't force him out and neither of us are in a position to rent anywhere due to finances. We would probably have to agree to sell the house (I know he wouldn't agree to this)
Whilst he is a good father and I don't want to break up the family, at the same time I know this can't carry on. My eldest is starting to notic the hostility between us both and this can't continue. I really believe I've tried to rectify and address things but he is very stubborn and doesn't take my unhappness into consideration. He seems happy to continue as we are which I find truly baffling, as surely he knows this is a depressing situation. I find that things improve after I have a 'chat' with him but it doesn't last and just goes back to how things were after a few days. I'm at the point now where I'm realising things won't ever change and I feel completely stuck. Has anyone been in a similar situation? I know deep down we need to seperate but he just won't move out and I feel so sorry for our children.