4.5 year relationship. Found out hes on and off crack. He has never once owned up. He denies everytime i find a pipe or his money goes. When he gets a chunk of money he goes funny almost over night. Gets heavily depressed. I know its an illness. He sold half his belongings 6 months ago and blamed the dog for chewing it all. He lost the rest.
I have to be honest ive hoped ive been wrong or that he will stop.
We used to be so happy. His house was my second home. We loved relaxing together after work and were like best friends. Now his house feels like a place i feel anxious in. Im always looking for the answers.
3 weeks ago he got a chunk of money and within 48 hours he was acting strange. Hes been awful. Not sleeping. Then sleeping at odd times. Ive not seen him until thursday. He was clearly not right. Faked an appointment to go out for an hour. We slept together and afterwards he feel asleep. He looked terrible. My anxiety was through the roof. He was drenched in a cold sweat and could not wait to go the next day.
For 2 weeks now ive felt a low depression. So i knew i had to see it for what it is now.
I messaged him this morning to tell him i could not handle the way things are and could not have a relationship with him. Hes replied saying fine leave me alone. My main reason was he was using whatsapp at 2am and its drugs or women surely.
I already feel a massive sense of guilt and sadness as we have alot of memories. Its hard to imagine him not being in my lofe anymore as hes filled up so much of my life. But he has to go. I need some encouragement support and any experiences to keep me on track.