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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ive ended it

4 replies

Thesunmayshineagainsumday · 13/07/2024 09:17

4.5 year relationship. Found out hes on and off crack. He has never once owned up. He denies everytime i find a pipe or his money goes. When he gets a chunk of money he goes funny almost over night. Gets heavily depressed. I know its an illness. He sold half his belongings 6 months ago and blamed the dog for chewing it all. He lost the rest.

I have to be honest ive hoped ive been wrong or that he will stop.

We used to be so happy. His house was my second home. We loved relaxing together after work and were like best friends. Now his house feels like a place i feel anxious in. Im always looking for the answers.

3 weeks ago he got a chunk of money and within 48 hours he was acting strange. Hes been awful. Not sleeping. Then sleeping at odd times. Ive not seen him until thursday. He was clearly not right. Faked an appointment to go out for an hour. We slept together and afterwards he feel asleep. He looked terrible. My anxiety was through the roof. He was drenched in a cold sweat and could not wait to go the next day.

For 2 weeks now ive felt a low depression. So i knew i had to see it for what it is now.

I messaged him this morning to tell him i could not handle the way things are and could not have a relationship with him. Hes replied saying fine leave me alone. My main reason was he was using whatsapp at 2am and its drugs or women surely.

I already feel a massive sense of guilt and sadness as we have alot of memories. Its hard to imagine him not being in my lofe anymore as hes filled up so much of my life. But he has to go. I need some encouragement support and any experiences to keep me on track.

OP posts:
LittleGreenDragons · 13/07/2024 09:27

He's a drug addict, a liar, possibly a cheat. What's to love?

Congratulations on ending it and I strongly recommend you block him on all platforms. He'll wheedle his way back once he needs something from you., addicts always do. Mourn the person you thought he was, but remember this is who he is now and he's not a good 'un.

Thesunmayshineagainsumday · 13/07/2024 09:33

I feel so distressed and tired. I cant have a rational conversation with him because he gives me the silent treatment.

OP posts:
GreatTheCat · 13/07/2024 11:04

Well done. You have taken the few first steps.

So what if he's ignoring you?

violetsoup · 13/07/2024 11:08

Congrats!!!!! This is a big step forward in freeing yourself. It will be a tough journey ahead, but certainly one you won't regret in the years to come.

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