Needed advice- cheating

[8Elf9]

Hey all, this is a long story short for people not to be so bored of reading…

my husband went out with his friends they said they’re going to a restaurant at 7pm, all night no call no messages nothing (i didn’t want to bug him while his out) I fell asleep and woke up at 1am and he was still not home. Messaged to see if everything was ok, and at that same point a friend called to say she just saw him somewhere veerry local. He replied and said all is fine and dropping off a drunk friend to his house which is no where near where my friend said she saw him. I ignored this but felt weird that he lied about his whereabouts.

next morning my daughter woke up and took his phone to watch YouTube, when I went downstairs I had his phone in my hand and something just made me look through it. I found an unsaved number called at 10pm saved this number checked WhatsApp to see it’s a prostitute business number. When confronted he lied about his friend calling.

constant lies. Eventually I found some deleted messages, and saw him message her at 1:10am saying we are outside are you letting us in, I haven’t confronted him about this part yet. I want a divorce because I feel sick to the stomach.

we have two kids ones 8 the other is 2, I’m just so worried with the process effecting my kids and I think I’m just so use to him being around.

how does anyone get over this phase, how can I approach him in a way that he cannot lie anymore about this situation. How do I tell my 8year old that we will divorce ?

Ok, you don’t need to think about divorce or how to tell your kids at this point. One step at a time. Just focus on the next few days. He’s already lied about calling, you’ll need to see what other evidence you can get or he’ll likely lie his way through it.

Oh so sorry you must be feeling shocked and very upset right now. So right now id do nothing. Give yourself a little time. Think about getting your ducks in a row 1 thing at a time. You don't need to tell kids yet have you spoken to a friend or relative? Hope you are ok x

I haven’t spoken to anyone yet, I feel embarrassed… I personally think I have enough evidence because his lies are obviously out there when he is the one who has sent out the messages. Which in my perspective shows he did go to the prostitute and has been lying his way around this 😢 I’m really loss right now and have started having extreme high heart palpitations, I feel disgusted thinking whether he has been before… if so, that id need to get checked for STIs

I recommend that you do go for an STI check for peace of mind.
You don’t need to feel embarrassed. You’ve done nothing wrong. If you can, talk to someone IRL as that support with be needed as separation isn’t easy.
I recommend that you get legal advice as to what you are entitled to if you separate.
Then if/when you decide it’s over you tell him you are leaving. He’ll probably continue to lie but you have enough evidence to convince yourself and that’s all that matters. You don’t have to get him to admit it as he will avoid that at all costs.
In terms of telling your children. If possible do it together and google advice. I read it was better not to blame one party and not to say that you fell out of love so they don’t think you’ll fall out of love with them. There are so many children from separated families now. It doesn’t have to be a negative thing. My kids have two happy households and more than 2 parents that love & support them.

Oh that sounds just terrible. You need to confide in someone for support, you really do.
awful behaviour but deal with it one step at a time. Send yourself screenshots from his phone, you don’t need any thing else