Comment during argument

[Hamster2]

My DP and I had a blazing argument the other day. During the argument he made a comment that someone had said something to him that would break my heart and it was about me and something I'd done. I asked him what it was and he refused to tell me. So now I can't stop thinking about it, has my son said something about me being a bad mum in some way or my mum's not proud of me or dad didn't think I loved him (he passed away last year), my brain is going into overdrive and I just feel incredibly sad. I apologised the next day for the argument and anything mean I might have said and said that this comment was haunting me, he didn't apologise for the argument or elaborate. He just ignored my message. What would you do?

You know OP I wouldn’t speak to him until he told you.

It’s really fucking mean he has done this plus you don’t know IF any one has said anything. IF they did - and he is withholding something so earth shattering but is willing to dangle it over your head - he doesn’t love you.

No one does to someone they genuinely love and respect.

This would be a relationship killer for me

This could be one of those little moments when the truth slips out. He said something to hurt you; either he lied to hurt you or he intended to torment you. Neither is a good look but he’s shown you something about himself.

@Hamster2 knowledge is power - don’t ask, take back control, good luck

Another prince. Op, you don’t know if it’s even true, it sounds like something an 8 yr old would make up when they’re losing a fight. But what is true, is it’s a nasty deliberate and spiteful thing to do and hell
would freeze over before I’d forgive this. Don’t ask him again- that’s what he wants.

I think he's made it up, OP. He sounds like a nasty piece of work and I wouldn't have anything to do with him.

Sounds like he knows how to control you, he's trying to hurt you not healthy op!

It’s a shit thing to do OP. Highly manipulative and extremely cruel.

Please forget about it and don’t give him the satisfaction of mentioning it again. Even if someone has said something, does it really matter? You know you. People who know you, know you. Don’t let it pull you down as then he wins. My ex husband used to play these silly games and it ate away at my confidence over the years. Not a day goes by when I’m not thankful to the OW who spirited him away.

Do you live with this arsehole of a man OP?

If not, don’t.
If you do, I’d head off somewhere this weekend with DS and have a think about whether this is someone you want as a life partner.

So you apologised for your part in this row but he doesn’t have the grace to apologise for his part and is childishly continuing to punish you with silence. You could be facing years of this BS. Also agree with PP he likely made that shitty statement up to take the wind out of your sails.

Personally I would not be sending any more messages to him until I got an apology and explanation. However long it took. I would ignore all other messages and would not explain why because quite frankly he knows. I would want him to learn this was a boundary. That if there are fights they are resolved with compromise. Not with you caving in each time.

💐