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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Gave ex a chance, old habits re-emerging

6 replies

Tupperware1 · 12/07/2024 21:37

I was with a man for a year and we broke up around a year ago now. I was madly in love with him but in the end he became jealous and possessive as wel as going out too much.
he got back in touch around 2 months ago and has spent that time sending me flowers, gifts, letters etc all explaining how wrong he was an show much he changed. I was sceptical but it seemed sincere.
I have started spending some time with his (as friends, not yet anything more) and was enjoying it. I visited a friend at the weekend and we went out for some food and drinks. My ex asked me about my night and said did I chat right any men, I said I hadn’t but my friend had and he immediately went straight back into the jealous mode asking me if I was lying, what was I smiling when I answered him etc. he then kicked up a big fuss and basically said why doesn’t he go round telling everyone I’m such a great shag so that I can get any man I want.
honestly I’m so confused as it how this just turned. Do you think the attempts at getting me back were the real changed him or just for show?

OP posts:
MaryMack · 12/07/2024 21:41

He hasn’t changed. Run for the hills! There’s plenty of men around who don’t behave in this way.

Susieandthewitches · 12/07/2024 21:43

‘ Getting back with an ex is like trying to push a turd back in your arse’

Very crude saying but true.

Do not try and figure him out. There is no point. Just know that he has probably gone worse because you basically accepted his past previous behaviour. Work on why you gave him a second chance and what lessons you’ve learned from this.

Justmuddlingalong · 12/07/2024 21:45

has spent that time sending me flowers, gifts, letters etc all explaining how wrong he was an show much he changed.
And yet he hasn't.

StormingNorman · 12/07/2024 21:48

🚩🚩🚩

AppleCream · 12/07/2024 21:52

Easy to say you've changed. Much harder to actually do it!

BadBarry · 12/07/2024 22:04

Well it's clear he's not changed, even if he then says sorry and behaves long enough that you do actually get back into a relationship with him it would only be an act on his part clearly.
Run, run, run!

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