funny ways of very slightly getting back at ex

[edpsychfedup]

My darling niece has just gone through a breakup :(

To cheer her up Im trying to find funny ways of very slightly getting back at our exes:

• May his wifi constantly be on and off
• May he receive an email from his boss to do something urgently at 4.45 on a Friday
• May his belt loop constantly get caught in the same door handle
• May he stub his toe on the coffee table every week

Suggestions also welcome:

• Periodically steal his trousers and hem them very slightly, every week, to confuse him
• Take the microwave turntable
• Adjust the flapper and float in his toilet.

Move on and live your life happily, that's the best way. No need for revenge or childish games.

Prawns or mackerel in the curtain pole.

May he lose his TV remote when getting ready to watch the England Game

Does she have kids? I find taking them to Poundland and giving them a fiver and no guidelines for his birthday gloriously satisfying.

Malicious compliance is nice. He moans at me constantly for “texting him and telling him what to do” when I forward on stuff from school. I love complying by not texting him useful things that he needs to know. He got a £100 fine for doing his tax filing late because his hmrc reminders come to me and I couldn’t tell him because he told me not to text him.

We sometimes do family things together and he suggested laser quest for my sons birthday last year. Repeatedly shooting him was very very satisfying. I’m not usually very competitive but I won by a clear mile! Thinking of suggesting paintball for next year!

oh perfect ;)

Retune his television so every single channel is channel 5.

Lighten up no one is actually hemming the trousers

Pure evil

She doesn't have kids, she's just quite young herself and it's the first ever heartbreak poor thing.
But the paintballing sounds wicked 😭

May the shit of a thousand albatrosses land on his freshly-washed car.

the best way is simply to get over them !!!

May he stub his toe or stand on lego!

Cringe. Just tell her to move on.

Swap his kind and gentle hamster with a vicious body double hamster so he gets SHREDDED when he innocently picks up the Fake Hammy for a cuddle

May his next gf be as humourless as some of these responses

😂

Starlings are easier to entice with a handful of birdseed casually thrown on the car roof.
Feed birds
Mega Mess

Win/Win

Knowing that he's going bald.

Knowing that he's unpleasant, boring and fake.

Knowing that any new women of good pedigree/of good standards will twig on to how vile he is relatively early. (Before six months - he can't manage a relationship).

Knowing that he doesn't know how to be, or care to be, a nice person inside and out and in public or private. He's just a massive loser.

You must be fun at parties

Empty his shampoo bottle and fill it with Veet.

May he ruin his favourite pair of shoes stepping in the 💩 left by a very well-fed dog.

Grass seed on his carpet and a sprinkling of water.
Or if you want to be really evil, shove a few prawns down the side of his sofa or under his car seat.
Or sign him up for free samples of Tena and leaflets for Rogaine and Grecian 2000.

May he be forever condemned to do the washing up without rolling his sleeves up.

May his cat vomit in his slippers in the middle of the night.