Dad watching porn

[lian3]

Hi,

I feel I have some childhood trauma but I don't know if I am overacting. It's something I think about a lot and can't get the images out of my mind.

When I was growing up we had a family computer in the kitchen/dining room area. Before the days of smartphones etc. computers were a fairly new thing I guess.

The kitchen and dining room area was also a thoroughfare to the bathroom, garden and also a bedroom so definitely not a separate or private room.

My Dad would regularly (I mean every day irrrc, or felt like it), be watching porn on this computer. It wasn't hidden from us at all.

I remember him with his hands down his trousers.

I feel sick thinking about it. I have my own children and it pops into my mind so much.

My mum was around but I never remember her saying or doing anything, but she must have seen it.

Your therapist sounds like a total creep.

If you hear a story of a child being forced to watch her father do a sexual act - whose mind goes where your therapist's went?!

I'm so sorry that this happened to you op.

I wasn't aware therapists offered their own guesswork so to speak. Arent they mean to draw feelings out of you rather than make unhelpful suggestions. Not sure on NHS policy but you can always ask to be swapped, or see if any charities can assist with counselling.

I had an NHS clinical psychologist (not just 'counselling') and she was very good at her job and would never have said that, OP.
I can very much understand the system, but seriously, your therapist is doing damage.
Before I was passed onto that psych, I was given a therapist. She was nice, but I needed deeper, psychodynamic therapy and she acknowledged that I needed more help so I was put on the waiting list for the better one.
I really hope you get what you need, try to be assertive and communicate what you need, it's easier said then done.
That was sexual abuse, OP, I've had it happen to myself and it is the worst.
Do not let anyone down play it.