Complete floored

[Nobodysaiditwouldbeeasy88]

Hey all. Sorry I don’t have anyone in real life to vent too.

me and my ex split up 2 years ago after 10 years together. No children together but we both had 1 each.
the last year got on a friends (just friends nothing else).

last week he told me he’d met someone - I’m happy for them both etc no bad blood.

today I find out she’s 5 months pregnant - it’s his. It’s floored me as when we were together he didn’t want anymore children.
I feel heartbroken and shell shocked.
is this normal? Lol
Sorry I just need to tell someone

I think whatever you feel is normal. It must be a big shock and I’d allow yourself to feel hurt and shocked.

Work through the pain, be kind to yourself.
It's not strange to feel this way.

Its absolutely normal to feel like this. You probably question the whole relationship now and you were together a long time. Perhaps the pregnancy was not planned? Or perhaps his new partner doesn't have children so is desperate for her own.

This is a really common scenario. Men who say they don't want children often go on to have them with new partners/second wives. Of course it hurts but, like I said, it really isn't unusual. Who knows what goes through men's minds.

I'd feel upset in your shoes, too.
The same thing happened to my sister. It's apparently quite common.

I'm sorry you're feeling bad about this.

Of course you are hurt.
He could have changed his mind, it could have been unplanned. He doesn't owe you explanations.

Thanks guys. She has 4 children by 4 different men soon to be 5.

I’ve slept on it, wished them well with the blended family. He then calls me to say it wasn’t planned and now he’s stuck as he can’t leave her.

ive blocked his number and deleted it.

Good for you OP, doesn't sound like an enviable situation at all for him. Blocking him was the right call, I can't imagine him calling you to tell you he's "stuck" in his new relationship had any positive motives!

It's odd but it does seem common for a man who was adamant he wanted no kids to knock up his next partner extremely quickly. I've seen it happen a few times in my circle. I wonder why it happens.

I shocked he’d met someone as he told me 3 weeks ago but more shocked she’s 5 months pregnant as he indicated he’d only just met her and it was early days.

His son has a hereditary condition - hence why he didn’t want anymore children due to the many medical appointments/medication. Which I understood

Tbf, I've limited sympathy for the guy if it's actually true about the 4 kids by 4 fathers (Which I'd be dubious about).

Sounds like she collects child support. Gotta hand it to her, she's doing good buisness!

But it's not your circus anymore. Blooming cheek of him calling you to lean on regarding things. Good move in blocking.

It wasn’t planned but she has four children by four men. He’s not the brightest is he?

Has he heard of condoms? The absolute nerve of acting the victim as if you’ll sympathise with him. Well done for blocking him, what a twat.

Well done. It doesn't sound like he's going to have an easy time, and serve him right.
If he didn't want another baby he should have used a condom.

He called me as the reality had sunk in and I think he’s realised what he’s gotten himself into but I said it’s not my issue and have a nice life. It’s better off us not to be in contact - which he was taken aback on.

Well he's made his bed.
It's a shame he can't understand why you're so upset.

This is perfect, bravo to you
He's made his bed.

Tbh it sounds like he was either setting you up as hus makeshift therapist or, hoping to jump ship back to you for bed and board whilst she carried his baby.

I’m sad I’ve lost him as a friend as we got on better as friends than when we were together. It seems like he thought I’d give him advice like a “normal friend”.

im sure a few glasses of wine will help tonight