Caught him lying... a big one. And being generally flrude and antisocial

[Badwood]

Hey, if anyone is out there, I could do with a chat. Long term partner has admitted to lying today. Also has been acting strangely for at least 6-8 weeks... I have tried to get hold of family and friends to talk to once I was out of earshot, but can't find anyone IRL.

I'm so lonely. My life's a total fuck up. He's being so vile.

I’m so sorry OP. He sounds really mean

You poor love 😔 he's being vile because he's lied and been caught out. I would assume that it's another woman that he got the ticket for. His recent behaviour, exercising etc is pretty suspicious too. You feel like your life is shit now but remember this awful time will pass and your life can be good again, better than before. Don't stay with a man who lies and sneaks around. Get some legal advice and start planning your new life 💐

Thank you

I’m sorry you’re feeling like this. You know what you have to do. I know it’s hard x

Thank you.

You know what, he's been vile for quite some time now. We've managed to get through so many bad times together. But I really noticed last year he wasn't being overly friendly. I felt he deliberately sabotaged my birthday celebrations (and in retrospect, others, previously.) Then expected a massive fuss for his.

And having recovered from two really nasty winter viruses, and helped him though them, he started getting really bad.

I think I'm actually more shocked that he fessed up. I imagine she stood him up, so he's stuck with me... And shocked now bu how much has fallen into place just today.

I think he expects everything to be fine now.

It might not be easy to separate but you need to. So start making those plans. He will be angry that youve caught him out before he can out the blame in you.

Yup. I think start with catching up on some sleep. And I have a virus to get over too.

My family is small and not great. He compares well to some of my siblings. One of them has been physically ( I don't mean sexually) - and also verbally - he shouts and is very unkind. And the others minimise that behaviour and tell me to lighten up. They are all bullies. Family a bit dysfunctional and I have not come out of it that well.

When I say 'my family' I mean my parents and siblings

I told him in May he was acting as if having an affair. I said he ought to show me more respect and try and be more subtle about it.

I think he has lost the plot and not manahed to cover his tracks. Gone mad chasing after someone else. He's been averaging 5 or 6 hours sleep a night.

Sorry you are facing this! You do deserve better.

Do you want this man in your life?
(I mean the one he is- rather than the one you hoped he would be.). Would you choose to be with him if you met right now?

Do you need this man in your life?
What does he bring to your life (and what would be better without him)?
What does he offer that cannot be replaced or that you cannot manage without?

What do you most want to happen?
What have you the power to make happen?

It is a tough time you are living through.
I wish you happier times ahead.

Thanks LiesDoNotBecomeUs. These are some really useful questions I need to consider. I am struggling to do anything ATM. I feel the rug has been pulled out from under my feet. He's said very little of any use since Thursday, which I think is a deliberate play on his part to get what he wants in the end.

I'm so tired. Finding it difficult to think straight, and getting a nasty stress response of sweaty hands and feet.