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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do I respond?

7 replies

ohmygoshisitabat · 11/07/2024 13:34

Today I received a message from a friend. We've not spoken since Xmas, there hasn't been any animosity or fall out, just life getting in the way. Around Feb/March I started to struggle with anxiety and stress from mainly work but also some family issues and then in the past three months I haven't worked and have been signed off. My mental health has taken a toll and I've hunkered down and tried to just take care of my family and myself. My friend today text me out of the blue asking why I'd blocked her on Facebook, why I'd not been in touch, she said she wanted an explanation as to what she'd done that was so wrong and after that she won't bother me anymore. I'm so upset. I deleted myself off social media many months ago to enable me to heal and I've just kept myself to myself. I dont want to cause any upset, or have the stress of having a back and forth back and forth text conversation. How do I respond though? I feel like I've lost all ability to deal with stuff like this.

OP posts:
Anon751117000 · 11/07/2024 13:35

Honestly, I would just send her a short reply and explain exactly what you have here. I understand you can't face dealing with this but I suspect she has been upset at the thought she has done something wrong. Just put her mind at rest and leave it there.

veryCrossMrFlibble · 11/07/2024 13:37

Just tell her she wasn't blocked and it wasn't personal. That you have been struggling and came off SM completely to try and restore your mental health. You've been ill and are still trying to heal. If she still wants to flounce after that, she's really not much of a friend.

Refugenewbie · 11/07/2024 13:37

Just say there's been a misunderstanding, you haven't been in touch because you've been poorly and you haven't blocked her, you just came off social media to protect your health. Say you're so sorry to have caused upset and you are taking it a day at a time.

StrawberryWater · 11/07/2024 13:44

veryCrossMrFlibble · 11/07/2024 13:37

Just tell her she wasn't blocked and it wasn't personal. That you have been struggling and came off SM completely to try and restore your mental health. You've been ill and are still trying to heal. If she still wants to flounce after that, she's really not much of a friend.

This!

ComeAndHoldMyHand · 11/07/2024 14:45

A good friend will understand if you explain it to her.

FoundObject · 11/07/2024 14:49

What they said. That she's not blocked, you removed yourself from SM as you've been struggling with your MH and have been signed off work for the past three months, and haven't been in contact with anyone outside your immediate family.

Baileysandcream · 11/07/2024 15:12

We all have a tendency to mind read, project and make things about us. It sounds like your friend is upset that you haven't been in touch and she's presumed that it's because of something that she has done. It probably hasnt occurred to her it's because you're dealing with your own issues and stuff.

Just let her know that you've been going through a tough time, took yourself off social media to try and help yourself deal with things and reassure that she hasn't done anything wrong. Maybe something like .....

Hey friend, thanks for getting in touch. I'm really sorry that you thought I'd blocked you and you honestly haven't done anything wrong. I've been having a really tough time of things and have been signed off work the last 3 months. I've hunkered down and tried to just take care of myself. I deleted my social media to try and help myself heal. I didn't mean to cause any offence, please don't take it personally, I just needed some time off FB to try and get better.

Once I'm feeling more like myself, I'll get around to reactivating FB, but just not quite ready to do that yet ...

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