DF and I have been together for 4 years and have a 8 month old DS, before that he had been single for 6 years, and before that in a 4 year relationship, so they broke up 10 years ago.
If I’m honest we don’t talk about our exes, I’m a DV survivor, he told me they broke up as they brought out the worst in each other, he told that he held no bad feelings towards her and he hoped she was happy but wanted nothing to do with her. He hadn’t seen her since they broke up.
Well at the weekend by nothing but pure coincidence he ran into her, I was there, we were at a park and she had 2 children, pleasantries were exchanged she introduced her husband and children, he introduced me and DS. They briefly asked about work/family, we moved on, he seemed quiet but we had a nice day with DS. On Sunday night my DF cried in front of me for the first time ever, in 4 almost 5 years. Not a tear when DS was born or his dad passed nothing but he was crying properly. I asked what was wrong and he told me nothing but eventually broke and said that he found it really hard seeing his ex, I asked why and he sort of said he didn’t know and eventually told me that she had given her two children the names they had picked and it felt like a slap in the face. I’ll be honest I was jealous that he was crying over another woman. He told me he has no real feelings for her but she will always hold a space in his heart and it’s hard to see someone live the life they planned with you but with someone else. He calmed and seemed ok from then on.
I noticed tonight when I looked over that he was on his phone a lot and I could see he was on instagram, he told me he was just scrolling but he never does that. I decided to look and see if he was following anyone new and of course his ex was there. I asked him about it and he said I shouldn’t be worried but he just went a follow request as so much time has passed and why not be civil, I asked if they messaged and he said yes. He let me read them, nothing flirty, just talking about life, he was telling her about our wedding and DS, she was talking about her wedding a few years back and her kids, they joked that they both have used names they picked together (tbh if I’d known this I might have picked a different name for DS but whatever). He told me that he had also called her on his commute yesterday and that it wasn’t anything deep. He told me that they discussed maybe going for a coffee but obviously her husband and DDs would be there and me and our DS and he wouldn’t go if I wasn’t ok with it.
Now I don’t know how to feel. I have no contact with my exes and if I did it would be horrible. Is this just what it looks like when break ups aren’t toxic? Should I be worried?