How do you manage boundaries/saying no?

[Dayatatime208]

Slightly random one but I'm 45 and generally feel a lot more overwhelmed in life than I did in my 30s - find I can't manage too much social stuff, and it's stressful trying to please everyone, seeing family (both DH and mine) and friends. I just want to crawl under a rock sometimes and telll everyone to F off.

I felt particularly overwhelmed today and decided to just cancel some stuff. But then I feel guilty. I have cancelled seeing my dad who's got alzheimer's on Sunday because it's a big drive just for lunch and I've a new job starting next week. I feel bad but the whole thing is just so stressful,

So what I want to know is, when you just don't want to do something, how do you cancel/say no without feeling guilty and how do you balance all life's demands?

I honestly just want to hang out at home with my cats and DH. I'm so over people these days and I used to be fine going out every night.

I think it’s normal but I am a massive introvert. Spending time with friends and family is lovely, but I need plenty of time to recover and regroup.

Don’t fee guilty about saying no to some things. Space things out as much as you can so you don’t get overwhelmed.

I feel your pain OP. I also feel overwhelmed way more (50s) than I ever did before, even when I had v stressful career, and I now work part time.
I too often feel like I'm constantly at everyone's beck and call. I've more recently started to blank out days in my diary so there are days for no work, no appointments, child care (much as I love having my DGCs), no charity work/volunteering, no seeing friends. I really need to do it for myself. Just to have a few days to please myself and not have any pressure is lovely! I would definitely recommend this. If I'm asked to meet a friend, baby sit etc during these days I just say that I'm busy or that I can't do it. It's perfectly reasonable to say this and you don't need to explain more than this.