Property and separation

[NC5411]

I want to leave my DP of four years. We own a house together. Bought it in summer 2022 and started renovating but had to stop ‘mid way’ so some of the rooms looks awful.

what’s the order of doing things?

in the meantime, I’ve taken what I can to my parents and staying with them while he stays in the house. I still have things there.

neither of us really want to stay in the house alone but that means we’d have to sell at a probably a significant loss and pay mortgage ERCs. Should we finish the renovation to make it easier to sell or just price really low? I still have some things there. Do I just pick up my things and leave him to sort the house sale? I don’t want us to stay together just because it’s convenient

I’m not sure there’s a right or wrong answer.

Personally, I’d want to complete the renovations, sell best possible price.

However this may not be right for you.

The house I currently live in, I purchased 20% off its initial price, half way through renovations and was sold with stuff still in it. The couple living here previously were apparently no contact and both refused to enter the house again!
It's like one day, they just abandoned it and never came back.
So it can be done…. I guess it’s weighing up money versus extended heart ache.

What are the specific reasons that neither of you want to take on the house alone? Is it financial reasons, or is it just you don't want to be associated with the memories there etc? I think thats important to think about.

If it was me, I'd be inclined to have a period of space at your parents and don't make any rash decisions for a few weeks. Let the dust settle and both of you think through your options. In that time one of you may decide that it actually would be OK to buy the other out, or you may feel stronger to pick yourself up and tackle the renovation together then sell for best price.

@MiddleagedBeachbum i think that’s how we both feel now, like we just want to leave the furniture and never come back

@Snowpaw we bought it together when buying was really hard and so there’s lots we don’t like about the house and it needs loads of work, much more than we realised when we bought it. And it felt manageable and positive when we were going to do it together, but the cost for one person would be a lot. Not unaffordable but a much bigger risk in the long term

How much still needs doing to the house op?

@pecanpie101 new kitchen is the biggest one. Full kitchen replacement and replaster etc. others are lay flooring and a lot of painting. The whole house needs repointing but that seems lower priority

That doesn't actually sound too bad in terms of work required. It's not like the whole roof needs doing or massive structural work, for example.

In the kitchen, could you just change the kitchen cupboard doors and worktops, and replace old tiles with modern ones or something like that? That could really give it a facelift without having to spend thousands.

Flooring you could just do quite cheaply e.g. a neutral basic carpet throughout can make a place feel clean and fresh. Don't need to go for high end flooring.

Spend a couple of days painting and it would make a big difference for not much cost.

I would take some time apart for a few weeks and just let the emotions settle down and then get on with hiring some contractors to come in and just do the basics to get it looking decent enough to sell - doesn't have to be exactly how you envisioned it would be, just smart enough to entice buyers.

Suggest get 3 valuations in current status & with new kitchen

You could also sell at auction, where you set a minimum price & this is the quickest way to sell

Or one of you buys the other out

I believe that a clean break is best

Personally it would depend if you would make a loss if you tried to sell it as it is. If you can at least get back what you put in, sell it now. I would want to move on as soon as possible. Do you both have the money to finish the renovations? If you really have to, and can afford to, finish off the most important things first then sell.

Get an estate agent out (preferable 3)
Ask them for its current value vs its value if you do xyz.
If renovating though it should be both of you that pay for it. If that's not possible then the person who renovates gets the bigger share once it's sold. That gets tricky if things aren't amicable so worth drawing something up with a solicitor if you're co- owners.