What would you do!?

[henmama]

Hello Mumsnetters! Looking for your guidance and wisdom.

I live in NI, and my family live in Manchester direction.
I moved in my mid 20s and I loved having the sea between them and me, now in my mid 30s I am not so fussed on partying, I would rather hang our with my nieces and nephews and spend time with mum and siblings chatting all sorts of rubbish.

My OH is from NI, we discussed moving over, however we both love living here, and I feel very much at home here, also we don't have children, and don't plan to. It feels like my heart is torn between family and my home, if only I could bring them all here life would be perfect!

Life gets very busy and I don't realise the time since my last visit, until I start getting upset for no reason and realise its because I need a dose of family.

To remedy this I applied for a remote job in Manchester (which I got, but haven't said yes or no) which would require some office time every few weeks. The job is call centre vibe; targets, customer support ect. I am not really excited about the job, but really excited about being able to visit family every few weeks. i wouldn't need to use Annual leave for visits as I could work in the office and have evenings and weekends with family and use annual leave for travelling with OH.

Its one of those lifestyle transitions that could be really good or really bad. I know people move to get better jobs and progress their career but never heard of downgrading job to spend more time with family.

I am not happy in my current job and will be leaving in a couple of months any way. So exploring different options.

I would really love some feedback and different perspectives.

In terms of the job, don't under-estimate how much time travelling for work can take up. In my experience, it inevitably eats into your own time and results in early morning departures and late nights returning home, not to mention the hours wasted sitting around in airports and at stations etc. Living out of a suitcase long term can be really tiring, although it might be better if you're staying with family rather than in a hotel. Working remotely the rest of the time can also be really lonely, or the alternative is you spend all days on teams calls (neither of which are enjoyable IME!). I also don't think that working from home for days on end is healthy unless you're very disciplined about getting out to see other people and do exercise. It's too easy to move from bed to desk to fridge to desk to sofa!
You only talk about the benefits of being able to see family and not the downside of not seeing OH during the week......

Appreciate the comment, however i dont think you have the post right. I will only be way every 6 weeks for a few days the most a week.

I do take on board, the WFH spiral, i am a sociable and would worry about feeling isolated. TBH my work at the moment makes me feel isolated as other people are clique.

A lot to think about.

oh every 6 weeks or so isn't too bad for travel

Is it a lifestyle transmission, or just slightly more regular trips to family with a day in the office thrown in? Lifestyle transmission sounds like quite a grande, overarching thing to say: your lifestyle will be roughly the same, won't it?

I suppose the transition to working remotely full time is a transition. I currently work in an office or have always worked outside of the house.

And yes the traveling to Manchester will be just a few more visits a year with added work duties.

So you're basically asking 'Would you transition to WFH, or not', then?

It's a very individual thing, like posting a thread about 'would you have sausage and mash or casserole for dinner?' Lots of people love working from home. Lots of people can't bear it.

From a full time wfh perspective I really hated it and mine was a bit of a customer service/call centre roll as well which often means no flexibility in speaking to colleagues and never building up any rapport with them as your visits in to the office will be so rare.

It did however get me in good shape as I looked forward to getting out in the evening to the gym or for a walk in the warmer months.

I also struggled with my dp wanting to come and chill at the weekends after being out of the home all week whereas I was like a caged animal and couldn't wait to go and about. It caused a bit of friction before we settled in to a compromise further down the line.

I'd say ultimately you don't know unless you try, you may find you have the best of both worlds and I also am a big family person so would hate to be away from them all for long periods of time as well.
I'd say give it a try and if the job doesn't work out look elsewhere, the good thing is that you're not having to do the expense of re-locating and the visits to Manchester and your annual leave and weekends with your dp may make the full time wfh inbetween all worthwhile.