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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Unappreciative husband

1 reply

Cappuccino17 · 08/07/2024 22:58

My husband has been unwell. He describes his symptoms as having shivers/fever, body aches and feels warm but no temperature.

I feel on edge when I am around him as I am under appreciated when he is ill. I take on all the kids tasks, offer him regular food and beverages,medicine etc. He doesn't have to move and i encourage rest. I offer to cook him things that will help him recover or go to the store to buy him what he would fancy eating.

I did this on day 1 but he woke up the next day with a massive strop. He said he had recovered and had a huge blow out with me. He said i wasn't wifely enough in terms of sitting with him and massaging him as his body was aching. I never cuddled him and was distant physically. He also barked at me whilst he was ill as he felt i was asking far too many questions like would you like tea etc.. he said use your intuition and just put it there.

I ended up in tears.

He was still unwell as his symptoms creeped back in and now ive just withdrawn. I've been cold but obviously cook meals and take care of the kids and let him rest and tidy up etc.

Have i dont something wrong? What do you do to look after your spouse?
I just thought we were grown adults and i was doing the things i would love when I'm unwell. So confused.
I did say to him maybe go to your parents because I'm not your mummy. He obviously hated that. And said yes i will next time.

OP posts:
outdamnedspots · 08/07/2024 23:01

What is he like when you're ill, op? What does he do?

He sounds like an arse: why should you sit with him? What if he's contagious?!

Are you happy with him?

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