Changes

[Aproductofmyera80s]

I’ve been with DP for 20 years. The other night DP sprayed some aftershave for me to smell, a new one he’d got, he’s not usually one for aftershave so I thought it was a bit strange, he told me it was because he wanted to drown out the smell of his collegue he shares an office with. Didn’t think anything of it. So the next day I’m tidying up the bedroom, he’s left his drawer and at the top is the aftershave with a card that came with it. It’s a pheromone perfume. I text him and asked why he needs it for. He calls me to say he brought it because he thought it might get me in the mood as I suffer from low libido, which has nothing to do with him, it’s due to a chronic condition which he’s very aware of. Next I notice he’s replaces his vitamins with some new thing called vitl… which is vitamins tailored to you, tbh I just wondered how expensive they were not that he was taking vitamins. Carried on tidying to then see some slimming tablets on the windowsill, he’s size medium already, not fat at all. I’m not sure how to approach this, not sure if he’s found someone else or having a midlife crisis ( just turned 40) anyone else had similar with thier partners?

What does your gut tell you ? If your not generally paranoid then trust it. But there's not enough here to go with like pushing him. Has he struggled with your low libido? How's he behaving with his phone etc.

You sound quite controlling and paranoid tbh. I can understand you might be feeling insecure due to your illness but texting him at work to ask about an aftershave....bit much.

Nothing from what you've said he bought would be a worry to me.

If you can't ask him, and trust his response, you have a bigger problem than the one you think you have.

What would happen if you said to him what you've said to us?

Maybe he wants to feel attractive especially in the context of his sexless marriage

slimming tablet on the window sill so not really hidden away somewhere.

vitamin tablets tailored to what he needs is surely better than taking a generic tablet?

Sounds like you're a bit paranoid tbh and don't really trust him already. If this is the case you have bigger issues than new vitamin and slimming tablets.

i have giggled, he probably just wants to feel attractive he does not know for sure that your low libidio is medical he may be wanting to try and get u back aroused, he clearly wanted you to smell the aftershave to see if the pheremone actually works and was probably dishheartened x

Do you talk about the physical side of your relationship?

both that pheromone perfume/cologne and the Vitl vitamins are heavily promoted on social media, i get ads for them all the time
maybe he was inspired?

I agree with other posters that it’s a bit much to be worried about it at the moment on their own unless you have other concerns or worries about his current or past behaviour and maybe a bit from how you might have been treated in past relationships if that is a factor? X

Hmm. Doesn't sound great.

Vitamins
Slimming Pills
New aftershave
Mention of new colleague
Sexless relationship