How do you feel cared for?

[Anonymous2411]

In a relationship of 4 years and generally I’m very happy with him. I love him to bits, he’s amazing with my DD, just all the good stuff that makes a relationship work….

however, we keep having a reoccurring argument of me saying “I don't feel looked after”, I feel loved but don’t feel like he holds it down when I’m lagging. I suffer a fair bit with a weird fatigue that I get some days and when I feel like that I just don’t feel like I get the support that I need. But I don’t know what support it is that I need! I feel almost frustrated that I need to tell him what I need (fucking stupid I know) I know I can’t expect him to be a mind reader.

I’m just curious as to how others feel looked after by their partner. I feel like I contradict myself and can’t communicate this issue well with him other than telling him how I feel. It’s all a bit of a mess so please tell me how does your OH fill your cup?

Just tell him what you need when you are fatigued OP.

He's a good partner, great with DD, so what else does he have to do?

If i was with someone i was happy to hold the fort for when they were fatigued and they still weren't happy i would seriously think "are they fucking joking"

When I'm ill i know the essentials i can't do so express those to H because i don't expect him to know my to-do list, he covers food, kids, school stuff, things that will make me recover quicker.

Do i expect him to mop my brow, or gaze lovingly whilst i doze? God no.

Does he pop up and ask "need anything" usually if not i message "can i have a herbal and painkillers please sweet love of my life"

Just tell him what you want him to do.

If it makes you feel better, i don't feel "looked after" when ill, that stopped when i left my parent's house

H looks after everything essential else, which is shit loads, so all i have to actually do is be ill/fatigued.

Which to me is a good as it's going to get he only has one pair of hands.