Are you happy in marriage/relationship if not why do you stay ?

[Lozza24]

Just as the title says really ! Are you happy if so what makes it happy ? If you’re unhappy why do you stay?

I stay because as it stands my children not having to be alone with him 50% of the time is definitely what’s best for them. All bills are 50/50 so I don’t need his money. But he has horrific mental health issues and I would not be confident my children having to go with him if we split as wouldn’t be sensible for their well being. His mental health issues are draining but id also look the bad guy leaving at this point too. Just interested to hear if most people are blissfully happy or sticking out for a variety of reasons.

😊

May I ask how old these children are roughly?.

Of course they would rather see you and he together but it could be argued the emotional cost is too high. You have to be around then all the time and that is simply not possible. What would happen to them say if you had to go into hospital?. It’s not an immediate likely scenario but the unexpected can and does happen. You have not seemingly explored any alternative scenarios but this current one so you cannot state an alternative would really be worse for all of you.

They do not want to see you overtly unhappy, that is probably also why they don’t want things to change. Many children would like to see their parents together but that is not always possible. You write also that none of your friends or family seem happy in their marriages but you’re showing your kids an aLeo unhappy example for them to potentially emulate as adults themselves. Material things do not cut it for kids when the foundations of their parents marriage is rocky.

Are you absolutely certain too he’d want them every weekend given his mental health issues?.

What are you teaching them about relationships is unhealthy.

You are not responsible for this man, a man you state you neither like nor love, going forward. It is not your problem that he does not have provisions for the future.

i stayed for 6 unhappy years (first 2 were idyllic.. go figure) because I had/have MH issues and a fear of being alone, also because of finances. I never wanted to go back to the poverty i grew up in, this has influenced my entire adult life from the career i have pursued (which isn't my passion but is stable) to the relationships I have hung onto for dear life, to a myriad of other life choices i have made.
I left because I was attracted to many other men, didn't want to have sex with DH again, and most of all i deeply resented him for the hurt he caused me and dc over the years through his moods and lack of bothering with us.