Does couples counselling work?

[DanceTheDevilBackIntoHisHole]

DH and I married 13 years. Mid 40s, both work and two primary aged kids (one starting secondary in Sept).

We mostly have a really good marriage but have some fundamental differences.in parenting style to the extent that it's affecting our relationship. It's pretty much the only thing we argue about.

Has anyone had marriage counselling and did it help in situations like this? I only ever hear about it being a last gasp effort to save a dying relationship but I don't think we're there!

Best to give it a go sooner rather than later

I would get individual counselling as well.
Parenting style is usually down to how we got parented so can be quite deep

I was going to say no as most couples go for counselling once it's late/ a crisis.

In your situation maybe it could work if both of you agreed to the process.

We went after our DS1 was born to get some help over ways to communicate.
We definitely had no intention of splitting up, recognised that we were in a cycle of arguments due to life change/ hormones / lack of communication tools.
In the end we actually only had 2 sessions because we didn't need more. It did us the world of good. Better than ever now.

It depends on the mindset and personality traits of the clients.

Therapists have some useful frameworks/approaches to help couple consider the issues arising and to co-produce ways forward. If both partners are open to listening and working through the issues, it can be effective. If not, less can be achieved.

Having said that, having gone to therapy, realising that you or your partner isn't ready, willing or able to work through the issues can be helpful too.