Can you recover from cheating?

[Mumtogremlins81]

As the title says really....just found out my partner has been texting 2 other woman, proper full on messages going on about how horny he is etc.
He hasn't met up with them, has known them longer than we have been together. I ended things straight away but still live together at the moment. He has promised to never contact them again, realises how much he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life proving to me how much he loves me. We have no children together but he is a brilliant step dad to my 2 and I'm step mum to his children. So can we recover? How can I stop the doubts creeping in? I've been hurt badly by my ex and really thought I made it this time but it all feels a lie or do me and the kids walk away?

I was about to say the same — least credible excuse I’ve ever heard! Sorry OP.

Hi OP
Muddling along is okay. As is taking your time to decide what to do. Although I didn’t have any pressing situations at the time I found out I do know people who needed to wait for certain things going on in their immediate/extended family to be sorted out

I’m pleased that he is answering your questions and listening to you. Time will tell if he can sustain this long term…he can’t turn around in a month or so and tell you he’s not talking about it anymore

Best wishes OP x

Do you know what caused his porevious divorce?

Couples counselor here, and I work with couples who try to overcome infidelity quite regularly.
I think for one, you need counseling together to figure out what really happend. The 'reason' he gave you was just a half-assed justificationand shows zero effort to investigate how his personality and coping styles have developed to lead to seeking sexual attention from other women. Taking accountability is the number one predictor of whether a couple can overcome infidelity.
He needs to be a man now, and minimally do the following things:

• Own up to his own actions. Admit fully what he was doing and talk honestly about when he has done these things in the past
• Look inside: why does he behave this way? Is it an addiction to this kind of attention? Is it needing validation because of childhood neglect? Is it the sexualisation of all interactions with women? Is it learned behaviour he picked up from male role models? Is it a way to avoid dealing with negative emotions by distracting himself? Is it low self-esteem leading to self-sabotaging behaviour?
• Look outside: what is it about your relationship and the dynamic between you that has encouraged his behaviour? This means in no way that you or your relationship are at fault. It's just important to gain insight, so these things can be discussed openly if they ever re-occur.
• Look at you: see the damage he has caused and take full responsability for what needs to be done to heal what's been broken by him.

I admire women who go down this path to repair, but I equally admire the strength it takes to walk away from an important relationship. In the end, neither is all right or all wrong. Both take courage and hard work.

No, probably the only reason it hasn’t gone further is because you found out.