Is it worth to give another chance to my lying ex?

[Kalevelelis]

My ex and I are in our early 30s and were together for a year and a half.

I broke up with him last week due to his lies. I posted here before about them. The last incident was he told me he was going into the office but everything suggested that he was actually working from home. I asked him, he refused. I drove to his house and caught him last week and ended things there and there. Apparently he was feeling really bad about not being able to go in and lied to me. Why though? Who cares? I just ended it finally.

Since then he told me that he's booked a therapy intro session for tomorrow and wants another chance.

I love him so much but I do want to settle down with a non-lying honest man and have kids. I can't raise a kid with a liar. I looked up and it says it can take years of constant effort to kick that lying habit. I don't want to waste more of my valuable time and potentially miss the window.

Is it worth sticking around or stick to my decision and move on?

Thank you.

No. He won't change.

Aren't you worth more op than a liar?

Why would you give another chance to a proven liar?

Haven’t you just answered your own question?

No - why would anyone want to be with a liar?

No do not marry and have kids with a liar.

Is it worth sticking around or stick to my decision and move on?

If I were you I'd stick to my decision and take my time to move on.

Nope. He's only gotten therapy now he's realised his lying has caused him to lose you - he was happy to keep lying to you brazenly as long as he thought you'd just put up with it. Do you really want to be with someone who thinks so little of you?

You will always be wondering if he’s lying. It’s not worth the aggro and energy and will gradually make you feel ill and resentful as you don’t want to be a doubting person. He will also end up being pissed off when he knows that you will be sceptical of every word he says.

Don’t do it - it’s game over.

Of course you don't take him back. That would be the biggest mistake of your life. He's probably lying about his commitment to go therapy, too. You wisely started running, so keep going.

No.

Hi.
I think all the advice you got on your last thread still applies, so no.

Do not give him another chance.

Hell no with an extra helping of nope

How many second chances has he had?

I believe everyone deserves a 2nd chance... but not a 3rd, 4th or 5th.

Have a break... maybe a month and then see how you feel and if you really want him back then do it

That's very quick for an available appointment for therapy @Kalevelelis ...

The problem with liars is that they lie.

IE you only have his word for it that he has arranged therapy and his word hasn't been worth very much to date, has it?

And that's why it's such a problematic behaviour. I cqn see you want to believe him but I would move on.

Thanks all.

I did do some soul searching since the break up to see why I'm so lenient with him whereas I've always been a decisive person. We both grew up with a similar caregiver. They'd lash out on us physically and emotionally whenever they heard something they didn't want to hear.

I never picked up on the lying habit but I can see how his abusive childhood shaped him. I symphatise with his reason I think but it doesn't mean I should tolerate his lies. That's why I ended but I got conflicted again when he said he was getting professional help because I still love him.

He did forward me the intro session confirmation email from the therapist. I'm sure he's scheduled to speak with her tomorrow, although not sure if he will actually stick with it.

I'm absolutely heartbroken but I need to put myself first I think.

We both grew up with a similar caregiver. They'd lash out on us physically and emotionally whenever they heard something they didn't want to hear.

He may have been mirroring you there. This is one of the first tools they use to reel us in.

I'm glad you're going to put yourself first, better now than any further down the line

This is just more lies.

No. No. No.

nononononononono.

Run for the hills, he'll never change and you're saddling yourself with a lying bastard