My sister is in an abusive relationship with her man-baby bullying husband.
She is isolated in a remote part of the world. They work together in a business where she does all the physical graft while he does the admin and spends most of his time in bed with various ailments.
She has no money of her own despite working 7 days a week, only leaves the house to go shopping when her children snatch 10 minute phone calls with her. She doesn't talk long as she's worried he will find out she has been talking to them.
She says she can't leave him because, he has promised to change, and he has no one else. (He has threatened suicide when she tried to leave him previously).
Her children live far away, one is golden child and doesn't understand, one is suffering MH from fallout of her childhood, and one at wits end trying to convince her Mum to leave.
My question is how can we best help her? I have read advice from woman's aid, about being there when she is ready. But I can't even convey that to her, I can't text (he reads her messages) and we rarely speak as she won't/can't. She occasionally visits our elderly Mother when we talk a bit but that is very rare.
Do I just need to wait and be patient and let her know we are here when I can? Do I keep it a secret from the rest of the family, Mother, Auntie? He has forbidden her to talk about it with anyone. I feel like keeping it secret plays into his hands and more support the better or would it just increase the pressure on her. Also I don't want to worry Mum, but she would be devastated to know ( she knows he's a dick) she was kept in the dark.
Should I keep calling her, knowing it is difficult for her, or just wait for her to contact me?
I don't want to push her but I don't want to abandon her either.