Old friend; is this appropriate?

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I want to get in touch with an old friend I haven't talked to in twenty years. I just found out another old friend I had lost touch with died a few years back.
I wish I had made more of an effort to find her and rekindle the friendship, but I was too late. So it got me thinking about my other friend and wishing I knew how she was doing.
The problem is that my friend who is (AFAIK) still living ghosted me, which is why we haven't spoken. She got her nose out of joint about something which was, in all objectivity, quite minor. It was to do with me being friends with a mutual friend she was on the outs with about a misunderstanding. I didn't take sides, and I guess she wanted me to take her side. However, I did think she was mostly in the wrong, so I was not going to be a hypocrite about it and pretend to believe my other friend had done her wrong. It just wasn't true.

Anyway, I'm thinking she probably isn't still upset about it twenty years later. So I found contact info for her, but I'm reluctant to use it because she still may not want anything to do with me. I thought a letter would be less intrusive than a phone call and she could just choose to respond or not.

Opinions? Should I send the letter or is it a bad idea? I just wanted to ask her how she is, tell her I still think of her, and let her know about the death of my other friend, who she knew and liked. I would tell her that if she chooses not to respond, I will respect her decision and not contact her again.

True enough. I was thinking more of her feelings than mine. I don't want to make her feel pressured or for her to be reminded that she treated me unfairly back then. I hold no grudge about the way she handled it, but she might have felt guilty, and if so, she may not like being reminded of it.

OP, I had a very good friend of around 10 years and we stopped speaking 5 years ago.

We were both going through a bad time and were enormously supportive of each other but ultimately, she said something to me that I felt at the time was (and still do really) very insensitive and unforgiveable. She'd said it a few times and I'd previously asked her not to but the last time, I'd just had enough.

She emailed me a few weeks later putting the ball in my court to make contact and said she'd always be there.

I didn't respond until last year when I emailed her. I didn't ask any questions or give any indication I wished to hear from her but thanked her for her support because that was the regret I had - that maybe she didn't know how valuable she had been to me at the time and how much she had helped me. I knew I didn't want to rekindle the friendship - life had moved on and I didn't want to return to that place again. I also didn't make any reference to the falling out we'd had. I had no expectation fo a response.

She didn't reply and neither us has made contact since. But I feel much better for having thanked her.

You have mo idea how she feels and I don't think you can make your decision based upon how it might he received. She doesn't have to read it and she doesn't have to reply.

I wouldn't send the letter in a card at Christmas as someone suggested. Christmas is an emotional time for many and it might not be received neutrally. But I think that a single, unemotional letter, informing her of the death of your mutual friend and also telling her that it had made you think of her is reasonable. But don't expect a response.

Excellent points.
I'm sorry your friend was insensitive to you. I don't think that was the case with my friend. I do think her expectations of me were unreasonable, but maybe she has matured and mellowed since. I tried to be supportive of her at the time, but I wasn't going to berate the person she was fighting with on her behalf.