I've been with my boyfriend on and off for a little over 18 years. We have steadily been together for the past 15 years and have 2 kids together (18 and 3) and I know he loves me but have always questioned if he was ever truly on love with me or just settled cause we had our daughter. The very beginning he actually was just trying to make his other daughter's mom jealous cause they had problems (at the time I didn't know this) and I ended up pregnant and was tagged along him bouncing between us. (Honestly he was in love with her and me with him.) Then 15 years ago I told him when they broke up and he came back that this was the last time and I couldn't keep doing it we stayed together but about 2 years later I found out she broke up with him and told him she was done for good and throughout the years he was always more open with her even co-parenting and their daughter than me and our daughter. Then before we had our son which he has been great with since day 1 but I was sleeping on the couch every night for about a whole year. But also when it comes to any affection of any kind sexual or not it's non existent. It was 4 years almost to the day from when we conceived our son before have sex and I had to initiate it and this was 2 months ago and I can't remember the last time he just hugged or kissed me (years). I've always loved him but it has slowly ate at me over the years and I just don't know what to do, believe, feel, etc. Is there something wrong with me or is this common in long term relationships?