Lies about our daughter being poorly!!

[iwonderland]

Hi,

I recently put a post up about my daughter father my ex and about the control and stuff but I think this is next level.

I've been making sure I'm not in when he comes and picks her up and drops her off but today I did have to get some bits in town and my son was in and as soon as he would have said she's home I would of come straight back but today he caused a scene. Soo I have him blocked on everything because well read my other thread and you will know why.... so he messaged me from my sons phone demanding I return he ain't leaving until I'm back blah blah blah telling me when he picked her up yesterday she was in dirty clothes and was wet (which isn't true she went baby group and was filthy so had to change her and stuff anyways) I had put a clean nappy on her and changed her into a clean romper he then went on to tell me that she's poorly and had to take her doctors this morning as she was bleeding from her bottom as she's been having trouble with constipation, I said oh bless her what did they say he went on to tell me that the doctor said she needs suppositories and that we are to change her diet a little to soften her poop I went oh ok then after that he gave me abuse and started crying saying how crap his life is and how he hates his job and he's feeling low and that he's struggling financially I said well you need to budget a little better and maybe search for a new job telling me also it's my fault I give him stress and all this shit then went on to say you can take me CSA as I won't be giving you money anymore as I've spoken to a few people and they have said I shouldn't be giving you money just buying what she needs after I reminded him again I just want to be left alone and that I don't want to be with him. When he left I rang the doctors up I asked if she had been and seen someone today they said no, I said has someone rang to speak to her father as he said he had asked for an appointment they said no nothing has been filed today meaning he made the whole thing up!!!!!! I mean wtf that's a new level lying about taking our baby to the doctors because she's poorly!! I'm just in pure shock and baffled as to why he has actually gone to the extent of lying about our daughter and even making up what the gp has said about her? I'm actually really worried about this what would you do in this situation?

Solicitor???

I don't remember from your last thread whether you'd taken any legal action against your Ex but I really think it's time you did. You can't trust him at all so you need to keep him away from your home, he's just using the DC as a way to abuse you more. If he's capable of lying about your DC being ill to make you feel guilty then he's a totally unfit Father. Please speak to WA about getting an order to keep him away from you.

Honestly he's actually gone to the lengths of making it all up a complete story of what was said and what was advised like what the fuck? I'm soo shocked if honest because like wtf? Who even does that? You don't lie about things like that. It's fucked up!

What for contact?

Show his message to your gp, he should not be looking after a young child unsupervised. Is custody or visitation been agreed by the courts, I would also get legal or police advice about his harassment.

He has said he did take her why would he lie about her health yet the GP and walk in centre have said she wasn't seen today and never had an appointment....

If he’s lying about taking her this time, can you trust he won’t be lying about taking her ever again? What if it’s reversed?, she’s ooorky and he’s said he’s taken her but he hasn’t?? This is playing with your child’s health!!! Absolutely a solicitor and cut contact asap!! I don’t say that lightly as I’m a huge advocate of children’s rights to see both parents, but this is scary! Also maybe sign up for one of those apps where you talk on to arrange contact rather than direct contact. He’s totally abusing you via your child and gaslighting you into doubting his conduct.
why would he lie about taking his daughter to a doctor? To keep a line of communication open that you feel you cannot close as it’s about your daughter’s health….. please seek legal advice and take this further.

My ex used to rush the children to out of hours because they were "sick" the Dr's would check them over can't find anything probably a virus etc etc there was literally nothing wrong or he would give them an entire tub of sweets they would then throw up spectacularly and he would rush to the Dr's the children were too young and just trusted him and never spoke up he stopped when I refused to join him at the hospital and engage with him I just said OK let me know when your bringing them home

Detach

Op I am extremely concerned, he has told you that your daughter had rectal bleeding and has made up a bullshit story about taking her to the GP, I think you should take her to be medically examined ASAP, at hospital if necessary. Something here is very very wrong and I'm afraid to say that I suspect he has hurt your daughter.

I've called the police and they should contact me in 5 days, I can't physically deal with this shit anymore I've been doing it for over 2 years he's such a manipulative lying prick! But this is just a new level to actually lie and say he had taken her hospital because her bum was bleeding and torn to make me feel guilty and unblock him is just a new level? Like wtf???

I've checked her over her bum is fine it's not sore not red not bleeding, she pooped earlier and there was no blood. I thought the same thing and checked her over. I know she has been suffering with constipation and has been to the doctors previously about it and was given laxatives to go in water and a suppository to help soften her stools too.

I wouldn't tell him you checked with the doctor, did he say which doctor he saw, if you ask him he will say he can't remember, it was a locum, blah blah blah. How old is your daughter, its all about control and gaslighting you, he's a bulky and will wear you down and make you doubt yourself with his behaviour and nonsense. Have you seen the prescription or box of suppositories, is that the treatment for constipation in children, he sounds unstable.

It's all weird I'm just baffled and shocked that he has gone to this new level of honest..

Thank god you said this. It's exactly what I was thinking.

Did he say he took her to the gp doctor or to hospital?

Well when he said doctor I assumed GP so I rang them and they said she hasn't been here today nor has anyone called when I asked him about it he went I took her walk in centre so I rang them again no record indicating she had been there or been seen by anyone yet tells me he did and why would he lie about it but if he did they would of recorded the visit

Our daughter is 14 months old and defo gaslighting me!

OP this is difficult to hear I’m sure but I agree you should get her medically examined. It’s very strange that he would say she bled from her bottom, of all the things to make up, why would you say that. I would rule out that in his mentally unstable state he couldn’t have hurt her.

I think it's because she's been suffering with constipation since she turned one and has been taken to the doctors about it and given meds before for it that's he's said about it being her bottom knowing that I know she's been having issues and has dramatised it to make it seem really bad soo I unblock him and have to talk to him. I believe this is manipulation at its finest and that he has lied about this and fabricated a story just soo he looks like the good guy too because I blocked him and he apparently couldn't tell me about this 'non existent' doctors visit to make me look bad and make me feel guilty basically

I'd ask that her medical records and gp have instructions to contact you about any visits, pretending to take a child is really worrying, controlling and could get like munchsausen by proxy.

It’s time to stop contact. Your daughter is a baby, you need to be able to trust that he will care for her adequately and safely and be honest with you about any issues. He can’t. So he is not a fit person to have sole care of her at the moment.

He is actively making her less safe - lying to you about medical care is completely beyond the pale.

Please get this on record. I agree with going to the GP and also contacting your health visitor to get it on record - show them his texts. Then tell him that you’re aware he is lying, so are the authorities - no more contact and you are happy for him to see a solicitor if he disagrees, in which case you will be providing them with evidence that he is not safe to care for her alone. He could see her supervised and you’re happy to discuss that.