So hurt and upset

[winc]

So my situationship has ended it with me today. 5 months - and we were going somewhere I thought. Was always tough to see each other cause of kids and things but we were making it work, or so I thought. He just doesn't seem to be willing to make the effort.
Why am I so upset? I cannot stop crying.. I am hurt that he did it to me.

You are grieving the future you thought you had - it is a very normal thing to do. It is fine to be sad - just don’t let it blight your life - spend some time looking for the positives in your life and enjoying them, and tell yourself there is so much more for you to look forward to.

Ahh I'm so sorry to hear this.

Did you want more then??

I follow this man on Facebook who talks about 10/10 relationships. If this guy first a start calls it a situation, rather than you're his girl, perhaps he is not your 10/10 after all??

must of been a reason for calling it a situationship, they don't work long term.
I'd always be wary of men that won't label a relationship, that don't seem that serious about you, I've been through it a few times and won't accept less than what I want, if they don't feel the same, off they go.
It will get better, every one makes you a bit more stronger.

to add to pp, I think when the decision to end a relationship is made for you, you feel out of control and shocked.

Your world suddenly shrinks a little and it hurts.

Im sorry your going though it. It sucks

Yep but we got back together again. am I a fool? I feel used and like he has taken me for a fool. He just said he liked me but didn't see a future for us. I could though

that is true - it always seems to be me that gets dumped/broken up with though. Like I am just not good enough. Seems to be the narrative of my life to be honest.

Allow yourself a time of wallowing, allow yourself to feel all the emotions and let all the thoughts come...and go...

Being honest with yourself about what you're feeling (yes, it's disappointing, yes it's hurtful) is the first step to healing.

It stings like all hell now, but it will fade, I promise.

I do work and I have friends ( and kids but they are away with their dad for another week or so). My life is v full and busy but I am craving that time for me with someone - I really miss it since my marriage ended.
What is confusing me as well is that he spent a full night with me this week for the first time and we got on so well. Cuddles in bed, kisses, all the usual. And now this.. F** him. I just want to get into bed ( am changing my bedclothes to get rid of any lasting smell of him!)
And with the kids not here, I can actually do that ( after work of course) Maybe I will indulge myself and do that.

Well fuck him then for wasting your time. Get pissed off about that - and yeah he did use you. So no more tears over this wanker

I won't -am done with him. it is over - I would always have it ringing in my ears -" I just can;t see a future with us"

F him..

Truthfully - I liked him, the s*x was good, we had a laugh together. and I am lonely -despite my busy life. All my friends have husbands -it hurts to be alone. And I know I shouldn't think that.. I know I should myself enough to be ok alone, but I don't.

Ahh @winc it does suck. All I would say is when you are with the right one, you really do feel respected and cherished from the start and then continuously. It took me to my forties to find this out.

Sorry to hear you're going through this. Also ended a situationship recently. They are rubbish. Like you said, get on well, good sex, have a laugh...but not good enough for a relationship?? Such a head fuck and bad for your self esteem.

Was venting to my boss and she said, truly, the only way to get over someone is meet someone better. I believe that she is right. When you are ready, get back to dating. I now have a lovely boyfriend, adores me, treats me well...also have a laugh and the sex is even better. I don't even give the other guy a second thought.

Other guys who are funny and good in bed also exist, I promise.

He's probably shagging others.
It's an all too common problem.

''I like you- but you aren't the one''

Or even worse.... ''Horizontal friend''..... a horrible term used for women they sleep with but have no intention of having a relationship with.

Chuck this loser back.

FAR better to be single than associating with poor quality men.

Absolutely. being alone all the time isn’t fun, pretending you don’t mind to everyone is wearing and situationships make it worse. You get that little bit of remembering what being with someone is like and then back to nothing the rest of the time. And it’s hard to not think about more. I’m sorry I’m not being more use, but you’ve picked yourself up before, you know you can do it again.

That is it- pretending you are happy, being alone all the time. Just got a photo there of a friend out for drinks with her hubbie. And no one knows I was with him- so you guys are my only outlet…
everyone else thinks I am fine.. like that Taylor swift song… I can do it with a broken heart. Well, my heart is not broken by him but I feel I have been putting on an act since my marriage broke down 3 years ago

@winc why did nobody know you were together?

Nothing hurts like heartbreak though I hear you. Hope you are ok.

I find it hard to share things like that with friends. They are so settled they would find it strange me dating other guys. For context, I met my husband when I was 19 so never really dated before then!

thank you all for your messages today. Makes me feel like I am not so alone..
have decided, one night of feeling crap, will drink wine and cry and watch crap. Tomorrow, up, strip bed, Pilates class, shop for good food. Already had plans to go out with a friend so will do that.. onwards and upwards.
but it still does hurt… I don’t think I can ever be bothered dating again

It does hurt. Poor you, @winc

If you can, it can just be a sad thing and you can treat yourself with all the love and care you have anyway sensibly planned without rumination and thinking about whose fault it is. Blaming yourself or blaming him are going to fill your head with painful thoughts.

I say this as a woman with a head full of painful thoughts. xxx

Oh I am blaming him.. but also myself for getting feelings for him.. keeping myself busy today! So far, Pilates done, presses cleaned out and now grocery shop with a nice coffee.

feck him anyway..