Hi All,
Hoping you can provide some positive advice here. I really struggle with conflict. I was brought up in a family where what my dad said goes and so whenever I used to insert my opinion or "fight back" I would get shut down and told I was wrong constantly. This ended up in me shutting down completely and responding to any kind of conflict with my dad with "sure you're right" and walking away - avoiding the conflict completely.
My husband has really helped me to try to verbalise how I feel if we ever get into conflict because the "silent treatment" or lack of communication from my side doesn't actually help us and isn't healthy. I still have tendencies to not debate and discuss because I feel it will just make things worse. Sometimes I do feel that how I say things also doesn't come out right and so does in fact upset and annoy others more. I feel I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.
On one hand I need to verbalise how I feel but equally when I do it just causes more issues and makes things way bigger than they actually need to be - so subsequently I retract again from conflict and think saying nothing is easier and better. But also by doing so, suppress my own needs and feeling.
How do I establish a healthy conflict style? I want to be able to work on this to help my relationship with my husband. We've also just had a baby so tiredness + conflict isn't a great combo haha
TIA!