Husband has a separate Instagram account

[Rooni7]

I have recently found out that my husband has a secret instagram account where he follows numerous women who creates sexual content. He has not liked any posts nor he messaged any of the women. I checked this thoroughly and there was no evidence of chats unless he deleted them.
I think that he just scrolls and enjoys the content nevertheless it worries me greatly.
I have not spoken to him about this as he has been depressed lately. We have a new born and he is in between jobs and I’m on maternity so we have enough to worry about.
he hasn’t been physically intimate with me since I got pregnant and he rarely initiate any physical contact. This situation makes me sad as he really is my rock and a good provider. I do not know what to do. I don’t even think he would respond in any way even if I confront as he is very good at brushing things off and walk away when questioned about anything. Any advise pls?

No advise, but you do need to consider if this is the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with. The fact that he won’t communicate is a worry for the future.

I have checked his phone

well he did the same thing years ago and I confronted him. He apologised and deleted the account. Told me that he never messaged anyone. Since then I check his phone tone and time.

Id start by telling him how hurtful and upsetting this is especially at this time. Ive been through this and i dont think men think sometimes how upsetting it is. When your talking it through focus on the consequence of his actions and let him realise. If he is not willing to stop let him know you will not let it lie its a relationship breaker.

He may well be depressed same thing with my OH but encourage him to speak to a doctor as this behaviour wont actually make him feel better anyway. Good luck OP Xx

Well seems you don't trust this guy. Maybe he has got depression. Have you tried instigating intimacy with him? Some men don't deal with their wife being pregnant very well. One friend I know her hubby didn't go near her while she was carrying and for sometime after the birth. Just ask him if he is okay. Then tell him how you are feeling.

It seems a bit pervy I think I’d feel the same, especially if he hadn’t initiated any intimacy. Does he hug you or kiss you etc or just nothing at all?

Gross. Another man that objectifies women and thinks it’s ok to treat his wife as second best. Publicly too.

This isn’t a depression thing, it’s a pervy disrespect creep thing. He did it years ago, and probably didn’t stop.

Im sure the porn defending ones will be along shortly though…

If it is not acceptable to you, then he shouldn’t be doing it. You told him your boundaries, and he chose to cross them again.

And the being very good at brushing you off and walking away when you are upset about something is gaslighting. Not acceptable either.

OP, a man like this will eat away at your self esteem. He is doing this behind your back AGAIN, during a vulnerable time in your life when you just had his baby.

You seem nice, you don’t want to bring it up as he is depressed, yet he hasn’t afforded you the same consideration, has he? He kept doing something, knowing it hurts you.

He is meant to choose you over every other woman, not the other way around!

Initially I thought ok just porn - so I know some women don't like it but its like finding a stash of mags under the bed maybe? However the biggest red flag no intamacy since being pregnant - my x was the same and found out when little one was 3 months he had x2 other women on the go. We split - I cant forgive a cheater.

He's stuck in a rut of Tommy time he's got so used to having a Tommy over these woman he don't need you to pleasure him believe me I know I'm not wrong. You need to nip it in the bud tell him you know because he's w**k bank cheating on you it's no different than porn cheating I don't think watching it every now and then is a bad thing but when your leaving out eather one of you that becomes a massive issue and your not exciting him and it will end in disaster if you don't put a stop to it or play it smart for example I lost 7 stone toned up and all of a sudden he was at my feet begging to have s with me but it was to late by then for me if he can't love me when I put weight on it lowers my vision on them. This is a massive issue and I'm socked you can't see it more so and sound so calm about it . You're only 2 steps away from separation. Sorry but take it from someone who knows men very very well.

well he did the same thing years ago and I confronted him. He apologised and deleted the account. Told me that he never messaged anyone. Since then I check his phone tone and time.

Checking his phone from time to time didn’t restore your trust in him.

He’s not going to change, there will always be a ‘reason’ for his behaviour. This is who he is, accept it or move the hell on.