Hi there, I’m looking for advice me and my husband together for 10 married for 5 and lived together for 7 have recently went through a blimp, I experienced abuse at a very young age and i was forced to watch porn and act out as what was playing, it has always been a huge trigger for me and when I first got with my husband I was very open about my boundary not the whole story but a summary as to why it was there, now my boundary applies to my home I just can’t have it in my safe place for my sanity, he agreed and said he doesn’t feel the need etc etc i had the conversation that he is not forced into in and if it’s something that he enjoys then I am not a good fit for him, through the years I’ve opened up more to him about my past and he’s been a rock through certain spells within my PTSD,
recently however, I walked into our room to find him using porn it was on our tv so I couldn’t miss what it was, he thought I was at the shops he didn’t realise I hadn’t left, obviously I feel hurt and a lot of my triggers are back ie night terrors, flash backs etc and I’m finding it so hard to over come I am back in therapy to help me manage my symptoms but when googling similar boundaries I’ve seen a few comments that it’s a controlling boundary to have when I first set my boundary I set it with my therapist as I know porn is and will always be a trigger for me and I’ve always been a good communicator and I don’t expect everyone to agree with it or expect anyone to go with it if it makes them unhappy, what I’m struggling is he knew and agreed and we have been together so many years and he’s been to appointments with me and I thought he had a better understanding but if I thought for a second he was unhappy with my boundary we wouldn’t be where we are today I guess I’m wondering if is it controlling of me? Am I in the wrong or is this my trauma speaking as my therapist put it we haven’t broken up but I am finding it extremely am I being unrealistic?