I am concerned about a married acquaintance/friend of mine (I know her loosely through my DD and her DD's friendship). This woman has several children and is from a conservative religious background. I have posted about this family before and I am now getting quite uneasy.
Today, DD visited them for a few hours. When I picked her up this evening, my friend answered the door in tears. She has a history of tracheal occlusion (virus and scar tissue from operations) which means she has some difficulty with breathing in general. Apparently, she was unable to breathe properly this afternoon and her husband, who works both at home and 5 minutes away in an office, refused to take her to the hospital. She had no-one to look after her children, unsure why she did not contact me, and struggled on her own to get her breathing under control. When I saw her, she was overwhelmed and panicked, which, when you cannot breathe, is no wonder. The poor woman.
That was such crappy behaviour from her husband and I was shocked, but also not. It is becoming clear that there is something really imbalanced in their home-life. They are a wealthy couple, in that they fly first-class regularly in the holidays, have multiple properties here and overseas and live well, but my friend is always, always counting the cost of necessities, getting cheap fruit and veg from the markets, worrying about money in general. Husband is rarely home, but when he is, the children have said to me or my daughter that they they are scared.
There seems to be an inordinate amount of control. For example, the daughter is not able to visit her friend's houses any more,
is unable to visit the local pool, and even at home in their pool, is not allowed to swim if their are any males around, including her brother and father. The mum is not encouraged to make friends, has no-one she will call or can call in emergencies and when I asked how often she visits her place of worship (a good source of female support and friendship), she says they rarely go. Yet she says they are devout and it is obvious they are practicing.
There is more, but I am so uncomfortable with what I know now, especially with her husband's reaction today. What I want to know is, does this point to some sort of coercive control? Is that what this could be? I am quite worried about her now, and I want to develop some sort of rapport between us if she needs help in the future.
Thanks in advance.