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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Estranged Mum called my workplace!

7 replies

StaceyLWard · 03/07/2024 19:19

I have been no contact with my mum for two years. She was abusive growing up and treated me awfully for the last year we were speaking. She would stand me up on visits or she would accuse me of going behind her back and talking to people about her.

Recently I deactivated my Facebook account (the only place I have her on and the only place she’d message me on) for my own mental health. We’ve never done phone calls and haven’t even texted properly for three years.

After not hearing anything from her or her reaching out for 4 months or any kind of contact, my mum phoned my work place asking to speak to me. I work in van rental so our main number is everywhere however she chose to phone the mobile of our resales manager through an external vehicle sales site. He doesn’t know the history I have with her so naturally he came over to hand me the phone. I told him I don’t want to speak with her. He informed her I wasn’t available and can he pass on a message. She just said ‘can you tell her that her mother phoned’ she’s not text or tried to call my mobile since.

I don’t know what to do because it could be an emergency or something could have happened but surely she would have said or asked to call her back.

People have suggested I reach out to her and ask why. But part of me thinks she was just checking if I was still there. I feel if I respond then it’s giving her a reaction she wants.

Any advice would be appreciated ☺️

OP posts:
Jujubeez · 03/07/2024 19:22

Don't bother returning the call if you don't want to. You deactivated the only way she contacts you for a reason.

Longlazyday · 03/07/2024 19:29

My dd is no contact with me, and I find this really hard. No way would I contact her in her place of work aka ambush her. You’re at work. No way could you have a conversation with her.

Hatty65 · 03/07/2024 19:35

Ignore. If it was something she DESPERATELY needed to tell you then she now knows you are still in your current job, and she could write. "Dear Stacey. Just to let you know Granny died. Mum'

It's not an emergency. She's just messing with your head again.

purplecorkheart · 03/07/2024 19:40

If it was an emergency, she would have rang the main number and left a message.

This is trying to suck you back in.

Dillydollydingdong · 03/07/2024 19:45

If it's important she will try again, so just ignore it for the moment.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 03/07/2024 20:28

Do not respond and maintain radio silence. What she wants from you is a response and for her that is the reward because she knows she has you then. You are no contact with her for very good reason, keep it that way. She is trying to hoover you back into her dysfunctional world.

BeaRF75 · 03/07/2024 20:44

It's very unfair to call your workplace. You don't want to speak to her (which is fine), so just don't speak to her. Definitely don't call her back. Even if she's had some kind of emergency, why would you want to get involved?

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